


make me

by petx



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Dom/sub, Euthanasia, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Exploitation, F/M, Forced, Human Trafficking, Humans kept as animals, Impossible Crush, Imprisonment, Jealousy, M/M, Master/Pet, Master/Slave, Mentioned Forced body modifications, Mentioned Murder-Suicide, Minor Character Death, Ownership, Pet Alec, Punishment, Slavery, Stockholm Syndrome, Voyeurism, forced pet play, mentioned breeding, mentioned non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petx/pseuds/petx
Summary: After a massive war between the shadowhunters and the downworlders, the two groups split up and have for almost two centuries been in a 'cold war'. Werewolfs are the only group which moves freely and are accepted on both sides (having stayed neutral). In the parts of the world were shadowhunters rule, all downworlders (except werewolfs) are killed on sight while in the parts of the world were the downworlders rule, humans and shadowhunters are captured (or breed) and sold as slaves, pets or food (illegally).Having been captured, Alec has been 'food' for a vampire nest until he is 'rescued' and sold as a pet.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the warning tags before you start reading this story and please remember that this is fiction based on fiction.

Alec blinked his eyes several times to try to adjust to the bright light, shivering slightly from the cool air. Not knowing where he was, Alec tried to look around but beyond the thick steel bars that held him there were big tents that blocked the view and the only thing telling him anything about anything was the brown dead grass around the cage he sat in.

The brown grass meant autumn. Alec hadn’t known how long he had been locked up in the dark and damp room that had been his prison cell, but if it was autumn it meant that it had been months. Shivering, Alec tried to wrap his arms around his almost completely naked body while curling up into as small of a ball that he could.

“We found him during a raid, a nest had him locked up as live snack, or at least that's what we think based on the amount of bite marks”

Alec turned his head towards the direction of the sound, but whoever spoke was still inside one of the tents and out of view.

“Have you spoken to him?”

A different voice, firm but still lighter than the tone of the first man who had spoken.

“He was passed out when we found him, you are the first person we called”

The first man spoke again and Alec knew without a doubt that they were talking about him now. Locked up, live snack, passed out, it all fitted what had been his reality for the last few months. A gust of wind blew through the gaps between the tents and Alec bit his teeth hard together to try to stop them from chattering from the cold.

“It’s a shadowhunter”

Alec closed his eyes and kept them close. If they knew he was a shadowhunter and he was still in a cage, that meant that he was definitely still held by downworlders, and downworlders hated his kind, they had ever since the fall.

“By his fading runes, we think he was captured and not breed, no breed shadowhunter has the runes he has and seeing he has been free, then food, I assume he is not tamed”

Alec felt sick. Having been born close to two centuries after the fall, he had very little experience with downworlders apart from werewolves (who still lived among them) and everything he had heard about warlocks, vampires and even some fairies were that they held shadowhunters and mundanes as slaves.

Jumping from the sudden movement to his left, Alec moved back, pushing his back up against the steel bars on the opposite side as he saw the feet and lower body of the two men he guessed had been talking emerge from one of the tents. The cage he sat in was only big enough for him to sit upright in, but not much more so he didn’t have a good view and no place to hide.

Feeling the bars dig into his back, Alec’s eyes stayed wide as one of the men leant down and looked at him. His hair was black, spiked and styled, his skin had a warm tone and his eyes were dark as they looked him over.

“He is freezing and obviously scared, could you not have found a better way to keep him?” The man who had leant down said as he straightened up again, his face disappearing out of view.

“As I said, we came straight here and then called you” The first man sounded almost a little annoyed now, clearly not happy about being criticised.

“You have clearly had the time to check his runes and bite marks, I think you could have spared a second to wrap him up in a blanket, the poor thing is almost naked and is sitting outside in late September, he could easily freeze to death” The second man challenged and there was a hint of something dark in his tone as he spoke.

“He is a shadowhunter, I am sure there is a rune for that” The first man laughed, almost mockingly which was only answered with a sigh from the second man.

“How much?” The second man asked, and the sickening feeling returned as Alec realised he was being sold like livestock.

“20 000” The first man said and there was a second where none of them spoke.

Twenty thousand, whatever currency, that's what his life was worth to these people. If Alec hadn’t already spent days crying in that cellar he had been locked up in, he would have now.

“20 000, it’s a bit steep for a rescue” The second man finally spoke.

“He is a shadowhunter, he looks healthy enough, early twenties and is strong enough to survive months as a feeder, I could easily ask for and get double of that if I wanted to make money, he would be great for breeding” The first man said and Alec cringed at the way he was described.

“Fine” The second man answered somewhat reluctantly.

“Fantastic, pleasure doing business with you” The first man said and Alec could tell without looking at him that he was smiling, probably one of those shit eating grins.

“The pleasure is all yours” The second man answered and the first man chuckled, not taking offence apparently and soon after they both turned and walked away from Alec who still sat pressed up against the bars.

★★★★

Alec hadn’t sat there long when a warlock, a different man to the two first men judging by his shoes, had walked up to the cage and opened a portal and without warning sent him and the cage though it.

Feeling dizzy and a little sick, Alec fell forward, pressing the palms of his hands against the rough wooden surface of his cage. He had never used a portal in his entire life, of course he hadn’t, warlocks were killed on sight where he grew up and the only exceptions were the warlocks who worked for the shadowhunters and they mainly sat up and maintained wards, portals were a luxury they couldn’t afford.

“Hello” A small female voice sang and Alec looked up and around until he found the source of the voice. A petite girl with long red hair looked at him through the bars, her face almost pressed against them as she smiled at him. Sitting on her knees with her hands on the floor between them, she was only dressed in what Alec would consider underwear. Tilting her head to the side, she looked at him and Alec wondered what he must look like to her, wearing as little as her but dirty and covered in bite marks while trapped inside a dirty cage made of wood and steel.

“He...” Alec tried, his voice feeling rough and sounded almost unfamiliar “Hello?”

“What's your name?” The girl asked, her face soft and friendly as she looked at him with big green eyes.

“Where am I?” Alec asked, relaxing a little as the spinning from portaling was fading.

The girl looked almost a little puzzled by the question.

“I’m Clary, what is your name?” Clary said and echoed her first question “are you the new one?” she asked, ignoring his question that she either couldn’t or wouldn’t answer.

“The new what?” Alec asked, sitting in the middle of the cage even if it wasn’t big enough to keep him safe from anything or anyone if they tried to reach in and grab him.

“Pet; he said we might get a new one” Clary beamed, looking a little too excited considering the situation “What’s your name” she asked again, not giving up.

“Alec” Alec answered, mainly to keep her from asking yet another time. Her answer to his question was making him regret asking. Feeling his mouth go dry as he weighed her choice of words in his mind, Alec tried to breath slowly. The stories he had heard growing up were that if you got caught by the downworlders, the undying especially, were that you would be sold as a slave for either work or pleasure, made to fight or possibly be food, which Alec had already been for months.

“What are you?” Alec asked, wanting to escape not just the cage but this entire situation that was quickly starting to creep him out.

“What do you mean?” Clary smiled.

Alec let out a sigh. He guessed Clary was pretty, if you swung that way, but she didn’t seem overly intelligent. “No, I mean, are you a warlock or vampire maybe?”

“Oh no, I am no such thing” Clary looked shocked and even pulled a little back “I’m a pet, no pet is either of those” Clary sucked her lower lip into her mouth and smiled almost sweetly “I am the best breed of pet, I’m a shadowhunter” she said, sounding proud not only about being a shadowhunter, which she called a breed, but about being a so called pet.

Alec wanted to throw up, if his stomach had any content he most likely would have. Shuddering in disgust Alec was just about to ask Clary how she ended up there when an unfamiliar sound filled the room followed by the sound of footsteps crossing the floor.

“Magnus” Clary said, her face lighting up  and it was only then that Alec noticed the white bands around her knees and understood why they were there. Clary moved a few feet away from the cage in the direction of the footsteps and stopped as she came up to the feet belonging to the man that had bought Alec. Pushing back and away from them, Alec for the second time that day had his back pressed up against the cool steel bars that held him.

“Hi biscuit, how's my little princess?” The man, Magnus, asked and leaned down, balancing his weight on the front sole of his feet as he stroke his hand gently over Clary’s head. Alec watched in disgust as Clary leaned against his touch and blinked slowly, looking up at Magnus almost lovingly, acting very much like a pet, like a dog.

“He is strange” Clary said and looked from Magnus to Alec. Alec wanted to comment that he was probably the only one in this room not behaving strangely, but because he didn’t know this Magnus guy who had just bought him, he didn’t.

“You need to give him time, sweetie, he hasn’t been treated right” Magnus said and Alec noticed the way he was speaking to her, like she was actually on a lower intellectual level than him, like she was child.

Clary looked up at Magnus and nodded slowly, nudging her head against Magnus’ arm before she sat back down like she had before, looking sceptical but still somewhat happy as Magnus stood up and walked away from her.

Staying pressed up against the bars, Alec watched Magnus’ feet as he came over to the cage and locked his eyes with the dark ones of the man as he leaned down and for the second time that day looked at him.

“Hi there” Magnus said and Alec just made a face from the tone of his voice.

“Do you have a name?” Magnus asked, sounding overly friendly.

Not answering, Alec didn’t move a muscle as he tried to stare the man to death, willing all the hostility and bitterness he was feeling to show in the way he looked at him.

“His name is Alec” Clary’s voice came from behind Magnus and Alec cursed under his breath, not having wanted Magnus to know his real name.

“Alec, that's a pretty name, is it short for Alexander?” Magnus kept his voice low and calm as he talked and Alec was distinctly getting the feeling that he was being spoken to like he was a spooked cat.

Deciding against answering yet another time, Alec just pulled his legs up close against his body and wrapped his arms around his knees, glaring at Magnus.

Magnus let out a sigh, the smile still on his face though. “I guess you don’t want to talk to me yet, that's ok but it’s getting late…”

Late? Alec thought, but he had just been somewhere where it was mid-day, if it was late now it meant that he had portaled to a completely different time zone and could be anywhere. Alec was a little fuzzy on the details of how exactly he had been captured, not remembering clearly what had happened between waking up on the day he was taken and the moment he had been thrown into the van that had taken him away. What he had known was that he had been in the back of that van for maybe seven hours, and that meant he was 7 hours away from home, but now he didn’t have a clue.

“...so I will just clean you up and let you out, and we can try this again tomorrow” Magnus finished.

Alec didn’t move, didn’t say a word because he was afraid if he opened his mouth he would just end up screaming at Magnus.

“I am sorry about this, but until I know I can trust you” Magnus said and then before Alec had the time to even wonder what Magnus was apologizing for, Magnus had snapped his fingers and Alec’s fingers were bending against his will.

Panicking, Alec tried to stretch his fingers out, but the first and second joints of all of his fingers except his thumb bent inwards until his fingertips were pressed against the base of that same finger like the hand of a gorilla. Lifting his hands, Alec looked at them in shock as he desperately tried to regain control over his own fingers, biting the inside of his lip hard as he tried to will them to stretch out again.

When Alec lifted his eyes to meet Magnus’ again he saw the almost apologetic look on his face, but it did nothing but infuriated him. Magnus was doing this to him and then he had the audacity to look like this was hurting him, like he was sorry?

“It’s just so I know you’ll stay in your place, Alexander” Magnus said, possibly thinking that whatever he was saying was somehow explaining what he had done, but it was making no sense to Alec.

“I’m going to bed, you are welcome to wander around any of the rooms that you can access, but behave, I’d hate to keep you locked up at night” Magnus said before he fished out a rusty looking key from his pocket and unlocked the cage.

Trying to push even further back, Alec realised that with his fingers bent like this he couldn’t really grip the bars or even get a firm hold of the floor of the cage. ‘If he reaches in, I’ll kick him in the face’ Alec thought to himself as he watched Magnus open the cage door, pushing it all the way around until it stood wide open.

“There” Magnus smiled, looking friendly, which only irritated Alec more. Seconds later, Magnus snapped his fingers again and the returning blue sparks made Alec look around almost frantically, trying to see what he had done.

“Don’t worry, I just cleaned you up a bit Pookie” Magnus smiled.

Pookie? Alec wanted to shout at him that he was probably taller than him, probably stronger if given the chance to fight him fairly and he sure as hell weren’t someone who the nickname ‘Pookie’ fitted. Taking his eyes off Magnus, Alec looked at his hands and the bent fingers, seeing that they indeed looked clean. Turning his hands over he saw that he had even gotten the dirt under his nails and a quick look over his legs made it obvious he was probably spotless all over.

“Ok, I will see you tomorrow” Magnus said and then stood up and Alec felt a strange rush of relief over the fact that the warlock hadn’t tried to force him out of the cage.

“Good night, kitten” Magnus addressed Clary again now and for a second time leaned down and gently brushed his hand over her head. “You’ll have to stay out here tonight with Alexander, since it’s his first night here and all”

Alec made a face, he didn’t need a babysitter, he actually needed some alone time so he could try to find a way out of this place, a way to escape.

“But…” Clary was probably gonna protest but were cut off.

“No buts, you know how scary a first night can be” Magnus sounded firm, almost demanding as he said this and Alec looked from inside his cage and through the open door as Clary nodded and hung her head in what could be interpreted as shame.

“Good, now play nice, I’ll see you in the morning” Magnus said and his tone was again soft and caring in a way that Alec had already decided that he hated. “Goodnight, princess” Magnus said and started walking away “And goodnight to you too, Alexander” he added as the sound of his footsteps slowly faded and disappeared at the sound of a door closing.

It was silent for a few seconds after Magnus had gone until Clary broke the silence as she ‘walked’ past his cage and over towards the couch, still on all fours. “You are one strange potato” Clary said, like that was a normal thing to say. Getting over to the big sofa, Clary climbed onto it and lay down, curled up like a dog would, still looking at him. “You should be thankful, many people don’t treat us nice”

“You sound like you have three brain cells and two of them are on vacation” Alec mumbled, not raising his voice enough for Clary to actually hear him.

They stayed like that, silent and separated for a good ten minutes before Clary again broke the silence.

“Are you just staying in there? It's dirty” Clary sounded a little disgusted, but not by the right thing, not by the fact that they as shadowhunters were put in cages and treated like animals, but because the cage he was in was dirty.

Groaning, Alec decided that it probably was safe to get out now and he needed to find a way of escaping this apartment anyway, or prison as he mentally referred to it as. Crawling out of the cage, Alec tried to push himself up but realised in horror that his legs wouldn’t fully stretch out any more. Just like with his fingers, there were something blocking his ability to straightened them and the way he could move them meant that he would have to move around on his knees, like a dog, like Clary.

“What the...” Alec cursed as he clenched his eyes shut and tried to concentrate really hard, it was his legs damn it, how could he not control them?

“It won’t work, it’s so you won’t stand up” Clary said, sounding a mixture of amused and bored.

Ignoring her, Alec held back the urge to cry as he sat back on his knees and tried to give straightening out his fingers another go. He knew it was magic, but was it permanent? Would he ever be able to straighten out his legs and fingers? Looking over at Clary, Alec saw that her fingers were straight as her hands rested against the cushions of the couch.

“Why are your hands ok? Can you stand up?” Alec asked.

“Of course I can” Clary huffed, looking insulted.

“Why don’t you? We can get out of here, just help me and I’ll find a way, I live with other shadowhunters” Alec began.

Clary’s expression changed from insult to disgust.

“Don’t you want to get out of here?” Alec asked, panic again building up inside of him.

“No, I belong here, YOU belong here” Clary said, her expression sour now.

“No, no we don’t. We are not dogs to be kept like this” Alec snapped, still sitting on his knees because the thought of moving over to her on all fours was making him cringe internally.

“I’m not a dog, I’m a pet” Clary pouted.

“A DOG IS A PET” Alec shouted and blinked hard several times to stop himself from crying.

“Shh” Clary frowned “Magnus is sleeping”.

Feeling his heart sink in his chest, Alec just looked at Clary as she shifted a little and turned her head away from him, clearly done with their ‘conversation’.

“Good night Alexander” Clary said in a bitter tone.

“It’s Alec” Alec mumbled and looked down at his legs and hands. He would leave her then he thought, she was a lost cause, if he found a way he would just have to leave her behind. Blinking slowly, Alec looked up at Clary again but she wasn’t moving so he decided that he would wait until she had fallen asleep, and then he would try to find a way out of this place.


	2. Chapter 2

Having done as he had planned, Alec had waited until Clary had fallen asleep before he had started moving around. He had for a little while walked up right, just on his knees, but it took too long and he had given up and moved around on all fours while he went from door to door and tried them and then every window with no luck. Having changed his goal, Alec had tried to open every drawer and cupboard to look for something, anything, that he could use as a weapon.  
  
But with being forced to stay on his knees, there was a lot of places Alec simply couldn’t reach, but also most of the places he could were either magically locked or he simply couldn’t get into them without having control over his fingers, which he didn’t have.  
  
Alec had probably gone days without eating anything, had been feed on, fought restraints, been beaten regularly over months and now had shuffled all over Magnus flat for hours and it caught up with him like it had to do. Exhausted, Alec had decided against any soft surface and made his way back to the cage and curled up in a foetal position in one of the corners, refusing to sleep like Clary, like a dog or cat would.

★★★★  
  
Waking up, Alec tried to stretch out, quickly getting a reminder of the lack of room in the space he had fallen asleep in as well as his inability to stretch his fingers or legs. Biting his lip not to whimper in frustration, Alec moved about a little on the spot until he managed to sit up, crossing his ankles as he looked around in the now lit room.  
  
Spotting Magnus on the couch, Alec watch bitterly as he sat leaned back with a book resting on one of his knees that he slowly turned the pages of with one hand whiles the other rested on top of Clary’s head. The red-headed girl was still curled up on the couch like she had been the night before, but now she was awake and her eyes were following some nature program on a widescreen TV.  
  
Alec looked away and his eyes wandered around the surroundings outside his cage and quickly landed on a plate that stood outside his cage. It was food and Alec’s stomach made a strange howling sound at the look and smell of it, his insides aching. The black plate stood on the floor and was filled with freshly cut fruit, vegetables and what looked and smelled like grilled chicken. Alec was tempted to take it because he was just so hungry, but the fact that the plate stood on the floor next to his cage and there were no cutlery for him to use made it seem like he was supposed to eat it like a dog would and that wasn’t happening.  
  
Shifting uncomfortably on the spot, Alec tried to block out the scent of the food as well as the hunger pains as they built in his body with each passing minute. Sitting still, Alec wondered how long he would be able to keep himself from eating and was in a world of his own when Magnus suddenly addressed him after what could have been minutes or hours.  
  
“Good morning, Alexander” Magnus sounded as soft as the day before.  
  
Turning his head, Alec looked at Magnus who soundlessly had moved from the couch and was now sitting on the floor next to his cage, looking at him. The second their eyes met, Alec let out a disgusted huff and quickly looked away, not wanting to give Magnus the satisfaction of something as simple as eye contact.  
  
“I’m not sure what you like to eat, but if you don’t like your food I can get you something else?” Magnus said or maybe it had been a question, but Alec didn’t even turn his head back to look at him.  
  
Keeping his eyes off Magnus and the food, Alec sat with his head turned uncomfortably to the side, trying to ignore the cramps in his empty stomach as Magnus kept on talking.  
  
“You should at least drink something”  
  
Magnus’ statement was followed by a small sound and when Alec peeked to the side he saw a bowl of water next to his food, a fucking bowl. Insulted by the idea alone, Alec clenched his eyes shut and cursed under his breath as his stomach made another hollow and aching sound that was accompanied by several short internal stabbing feelings.  
  
“Ok, if you don’t want to talk, I will just have to entertain myself” Alec heard Magnus said, but still ignored him.  
  
“He began his new life standing up, surrounded by cold darkness and stale, dusty air” Magnus said suddenly and Alec frowned and fought the urge to look at him. “Metal ground against metal; a lurching shudder shook the floor beneath him” Magnus went on and Alec slowly turned his head a little to see if he could sneak a peek without it being noticed.  
  
Laying on his back on the floor next to the cage, Magnus rested his head against a pillow in a black and maroon silk cover whiles he held a book over his head that he read out loud from. ‘The Maze Runner’ the black, green and yellow cover said and Alec made a face to himself as he turned away again. Was Magnus planning on reading that entire book to him? Did he think that by just constantly making sound that Alec would give in?  
  
★★★★  
  
Magnus stayed like that for hours, reading the book which Alec annoyingly kind of enjoyed it. The story way actually interesting, and since the main character was trapped in some sort of hell, Alec felt that he could relate more easily to the character than he probably would have before.  
  
When Magnus closed the book and got up, Alec was almost tempted to ask him to continue, but there was no way his pride would let him even if he truly wanted to, which he didn’t. The rest of the day went by slowly and Alec spent most of the day sitting completely still letting his eyes wander around the room, watching how Magnus worked on some kind of potion or read, how Clary was happily moving about on the floor- following Magnus around like some lovesick puppy or when she entertain herself with books or watching TV.  
  
By the time the daylight outside had turned into a dark night sky, Alec was already tired without having done anything. Alec knew why, he was starving and it was becoming increasingly difficult to ignore the food which was still warm on the plate right outside his cage that Magnus clearly keeping it hot and fresh with magic, or actually, it was most likely the lack of fluids.  
  
“I’m going to bed, sunshine” Alec heard Magnus said and opened his eyes which had slowly drifted shut possibly as much as an hour ago.  
  
“Can I sleep with you?” Clary was sitting back on her legs like a begging dog as she looked up at Magnus who didn’t lean down to get on her level or anything similar, instead behaving like she was actually a pet.  
  
“Not yet, I need you to keep an eye on Alexander” Magnus said and when he did, both him and Clary looked over towards Alec who quickly looked away, hating the both of them.  
  
“He doesn’t want to be here, I don’t want him to be here” Clary cried and Alec fought the urge to throw up, thoroughly disgusted with the redhead.  
  
“Hey, I don’t ever want you to say anything like that again. Remember how scare you were when you came here? This is new to Alexander” Magnus’ tone was like one speaking to a child again.  
  
“I’m sorry” Clary replied and then she said something that Alec couldn’t quite make out.  
  
“Ok, so that settles it. I will see you in the morning biscuit” Magnus said and then a few seconds later gave some well wishes for him as well before he was heading out of the room, yet again leaving Clary and Alec to themselves.  
  
Clenching his eyes shut, Alec yawned and leaned against the steel bars as he turned his head to look at Clary who was moving over towards him. Making a face, Alec looked her up and down when she sat down outside his cage like she had done the day before.  
  
“What do you want?” Alec asked, his voice rough and hoarse again.  
  
“You have to eat” Clary nudged her head towards the plate.  
  
“I don’t have to do anything” Alec replied and leaned his head against the same steel bars that now held up his upper body.  
  
“You are allowed to starve yourself to death you know, he won’t stop you” Clary stated matter of factly and threw her head a little to the side, her long hair swinging over her shoulder.  
  
“Good” Alec answered dryly.  
  
It was silent for a long while but neither of them moved or even looked away, Alec just watched her out of the corner of his eye and let himself slowly get overtaken by disgust.  
  
“Why are you so unthankful?” Clary asked, breaking the silence.  
  
“Why do you care? Just let me starve myself to death, and you can go back to fucking your warlock slave owner” Alec snapped.  
  
Clary’s eyes went wide as she gasped, the way she reacted seeming comical like she had learned her behaviour from a show or a cartoon “Magnus does not have sexual intercourse with me”.  
  
‘Sexual intercourse’? Alec thought and frowned.  
  
“I have a boyfriend” Clary said, stretching her neck, poking her nose even further towards the ceiling.  
  
“You JUST asked to sleep with him” Alec commented, feeling more confused with every new bit of information he got “and how do you have a boyfriend? you are less than a dog”  
  
“I sleep in his room now with him” Clary sounded as disgusted as Alec felt “Magnus wouldn’t do that to me”.  
  
“And you don’t see how disturbing that is, that he could chose to do that to you if he wanted to” Alec asked, feeling the anger growing inside him but also the numbing tiredness as it was keeping him from acting out.  
  
“But he doesn’t and most people only do it if the pets want to” Clary said and Alec was taken back with how normal she seemed to think this all was “my boyfriend sometimes sleep with his owner, but that's because he wants to”  
  
“Oh right, because that sounds healthy. Your boyfriend sleeps with another woman and you think that's ok?” Alec wanted to lash out, wanted to beat some sense into her even if she was a girl and clearly helpless, but a beating might do this airhead good.  
  
“He loves his owner, its natural and his owner loves him” Clary sounded suddenly a little unsure.  
  
“So you are saying you don’t love Magnus then, because you don’t sleep with him?” Alec challenged her logic.  
  
“I do, if he wanted to I think could” Clary stuttered, her lonely little brain cells struggling to keep up.  
  
“So you are saying that Magnus doesn’t love you then, because he doesn’t want to sleep with you?” Alec smiled, feeling like he got the upper hand.  
  
“Don’t say that” Clary pouted “he loves me, he says he loves me”.  
  
“Clearly not enough to sleep with you” Alec said, feeling a cold satisfaction from getting her so confused.  
  
“Shut up” Clary snapped.  
  
“So you are mad at me because he doesn’t love you?” Alec asked.  
  
“I hate you, I hope Magnus sell you to someone bad” Clary shot pushing up on all fours and moved a little back.  
  
“Ohh.. harsh, what could possibly happen? They eat me? Been there done that” Alec huffed and turned his head.  
  
“They could beat you and have sex with you when you don’t want to or make you breed with others you don’t like” Clary’s voice was small and unsteady as she spoke and when Alec turned to look at her again he saw something in her eyes that made him feel sick. Had that happened to her? Magnus took ‘rescues’ right? What had she been rescued from? “And also, if you ever want to walk just remember that they can take your legs and fingers and cut them off” Clary added and the hostility was back in her tone now.  
  
“Clary” Alec started, feeling pity for the girl again.  
  
“Good night” Clary replied before he could say anything else and quickly turned around and walked away from him towards the couch.  
  
Looking at her go, Alec let his full weight fall against the bars again. He knew he should go after her, but he was tired, too tired and even the thought up getting out of the cage, and move was making him feel dizzy.  
  
“Good night, Clary” Alec said, hopefully loud enough for Clary to hear but not Magnus. No matter how much worse others were, he didn’t even want Magnus to know what his voice sounded like if he could help it.  
  
Blinking slowly, Alec let his eyes drift shut and not long after he was fast asleep.  
  
★★★★  
  
When Alec woke up he noticed that he had collapsed inside the cage and was again laying down even though he had been sitting when he fell asleep. Glancing around without lifting his head, Alec noticed the now two plates standing outside his cage. One had some kind of meat dish combined with vegetables and the other had some fish and vegetables. Groaning, Alec closed his eyes again and seconds later he was asleep again, too tired to stay awake.  
  
★★★★  
  
The second time Alec woke up, Magnus was sitting outside his cage again, his eyes filled with concern that Alec didn’t trust or even believe in to begin with. Averting his eyes, Alec lay still and just listened to the sound of the TV in the background where some man was talking about the great migration or something of that sort.  
  
“Are you sure you won’t eat something?” Magnus voice was yet again soft.  
  
Closing his eyes again, Alec didn’t even bother to grunt as a reply.  
  
“Drink maybe? I’ll trade you for it.. I’ll get you whatever you want if you just drink a little bit for me” Magnus sounded like he was pleading with him but Alec ignored it because he only wanted one thing, his freedom, and he wouldn’t be given that.  
  
Magnus said something else, but Alec’s brain was already shutting down again from the lack of fluids. This was day three, that was the average time people could survive without water and Magnus probably knew it as well.  
  
“Alexander” Magnus voice sounded distant and Alec wondered how many times he had said his name, but even if he had wanted to he couldn’t focus and his head was killing him and he soon drifted off yet again.  
  
★★★★  
  
Over the course of the day, maybe it was two days, it couldn’t be more could it? Alec woke a few times only to meet Magnus’s worried eyes or even Clary’s, but he was never forced to anything, Clary had been right, he would be allowed to starve himself.  
  
When Alec opened his eyes for what felt like the 100th time but probably was the 4th or 5th he found himself moved and he would have jumped with the sudden realisation that he was in a new place but he was simply too tired.  
  
“Hello sweetie” Magnus voice broke the silence and Alec tried to take in his surroundings. He was still in the living room but he was on the couch, curled up in one of the corners.  
  
“How are you feeling?” Magnus asked and then brushed his hand down his cheek which made Alec pull away and he then watched as Magnus pulled his hand back like he had been burned. “I’m sorry” Magnus sounded annoyingly sincere as always.  
  
Magnus was sitting on the floor next to the couch, his head in the same height as his.  
  
“Please, will you drink something?” Magnus was for a fact pleading with him now, but this was the only power Alec had left and he wasn't planning on giving it up.  
  
“I can’t give you what you want, but if you want me to find you somewhere else to live I can do that. Maybe you would feel more comfortable with a woman? Or a couple?”  
  
Alec figured Clary had talked to him about what they had talked about the other day, it didn’t matter though, it wasn’t Magnus especially, it was the situation.  
  
Magnus held up a glass, at least that was an improvement, and it even had a straw.  
  
“Please? I was kind of looking forward to getting to know you” Magnus held the glass and straw so close to Alec that he could almost taste the water, but instead of taking a sip, Alec used the bit of energy he had to pull his head away and then felt an odd satisfaction as Magnus’ smile faded.  
  
Alec’s head was aching, his stomach felt like it was being twisted over and several other organs were aching in his body but all in all, dying felt less painful than he had expected and with that thought in his head, Alec once again drifted off.  
  
★★★★  
  
The next time Alec opened his eyes it was because of the sudden loud noise that filled the room as a door was slammed shut. The sound of high heels echoed through the living room and Alec figured someone else was there and still he didn’t care.  
  
“It’s a pet” Alec heard an annoyed woman’s voice say before she was instantly shushed by what had to be Magnus. There was some more chatter going on, but Alec couldn't make it out and wasn’t even trying to. They kept on talking and Alec was about to drift off again when a voice cut through the comfortable silence.  
  
“Hey, you, boy” The woman was addressing him.  
  
“Camille, leave him alone” Magnus was right behind her, Alec didn’t see him but he heard him and that's where he had to be.  
  
“Are you just gonna let him die on your couch?” Camille asked and then just a second later Alec let out a surprised whimper as his head was yanked up by the hair and the glass of water was shoved against his lips, crashing against his teeth as water splashed up over his face.

“Drink you little piece of..” Camille growled.  
  
“Camille” Magnus shouted and before Alec could have reacted (if he had the energy), Camille was thrown back though the room, orange sparks flying around her.  
  
“What the actual fuck” Alec herd Camille almost shout as Alec coughed, the water having found its way up his nose as he breathed in “He is a pet and you don’t even know him, just make him drink or put him down”.  
  
“You need to go” Magnus sounded dark and almost dangerous now and in a flash, Camille was gone, her speed proving that she was a vampire which didn’t surprise Alec at all based on what a dick she was.  
  
“I’m sorry” Magnus was back next to him and was quickly drying up the water around and on him using both a soft cloth as well as magic. “I didn’t know she would do that..I don’t want to force you, I won’t but..” Magnus was clearly trying to find a new angle “I promise, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you, just please just drink”  
  
Alec felt the straw against his lips, but it wasn’t being shoved into his mouth, simply held there.  
  
“I’ll keep you safe and as happy as I can, I won’t force you to do anything you don’t have to and if the laws change I’ll let you go if thats what you want..” Magnus kept on talking, fading a little in and out but Alec heard the most important bit.  
  
Maybe there was a chance, a real one?  
  
Parting his lips just a little, Alec let the straw pass them and very slowly took a small sip which instantly shut Magnus up and replaced the scared look on his face with one of relief.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am exhausted. Sorry for wonky mistakes and wacky plot pace.

Alec had agreed to drink, in silence, and that is how he kept on living (if you could call what he was doing ‘living’). Over the next few days he had slowly regained some of his strength by drinking and then eating again and soon he was able to get around on his own, letting Clary show him a little bit around (after Magnus had gone to bed of course).   
  
On the plus side, having to use the bathroom (once he started eating and drinking again) wasn’t as bad as he had feared as it was basically a normal human toilet, just lower, they weren’t supposed to get off the floor after all. Also in the bathroom there was a pile of cloths for both him and Clary. Cloths might be stretching it as it was only underwear, but at least they changed that themselves as Alec couldn’t and wouldn’t picture Magnus changing him.  
  
A minus was that as he got strong enough to move about the drinking from glasses had been replaced with drinking from bowls. The first few days weren’t too bad as Alec simply (or with a bit of effort because of his fingers) lifted the bowl up from the floor and drank from it, but one day the bowl simply wouldn’t come off the floor any more and Alec assumed that it was magically being held down. When that had happened, Alec had once again refused to drink for almost two days, but the second night he had bitterly swallowed his pride and tried to drink, of course long after Magnus had gone to bed again.   
  
The eating food part wasn’t too bad because he still could use his thumbs so he was able to pick up most of his food and even though it was more primal than cutlery, at least he didn’t eat his food like Clary did, who ate it straight off the plate like a dog.   
  
All of this happened at night, of course, as it was the only time Alec did anything.   
  
When Magnus had moved him from the cage to the couch, Magnus had also removed the cage and it had not been put back. It was sickening to think that he missed it, but it had been the only place he had felt safe and also the only place he had felt he could hide. As soon as he had been strong enough to move about, Alec had spent a full night finding the place in the flat where he was most hidden and had ended up deciding on a low table that stood in the corner of the living room that he just managed to get under.   
  
Clary had slept on the couch in the living room for a little over a week, even staying up a few hours with Alec after Magnus had gone to bed to him a few things and told him a few rules (that Alec didn’t care enough about to even try to remember). Alec had tried to talk a bit to her about her past but had quickly been shut down and had instead been forced to listen to her talk about how amazing her boyfriend (who was another pet) named Jace was.   
  
After that, Clary had gone back to sleeping in Magnus’ room and Alec had been left to himself for the entire night which he didn’t really mind. When Magnus and Clary went to bed, Alec would start his day by eating and drinking and then working out as much as he could, (unable to do a lot of things of course because of the spells on his legs and fingers) but he was determined to keep in shape because he knew he would need to be if he ever got a chance to get away.   
  
As soon as the sun came up, Alec would get under the table and curl up, trying his best to sleep as much as he could during the day. Magnus didn’t bother him much, he simply refilled his water bowl and gave him new food and cleaned him (which Alec only knew because dirt would just suddenly be gone). Sometimes Magnus would try to talk to him, but Alec had yet to answer a single question and stuck with ignoring him and keeping silent, but admittingly paying attention whenever Magnus would read to him, which was becoming a thing.   
  
“My boyfriend is coming over this weekend”   
  
Opening his eyes, Alec frowned as he looked at Clary who had stuck her head under the table he was curled up under. Looking past Clary, Alec searched for the sight of Magnus’ feet anywhere before he said anything, having yet to let the warlock hear him say anything.   
  
“Wo-ho, how amazing” Alec said in a low sarcastic tone once he was sure the coast was clear.   
  
Clary either didn’t get sarcasm, or she ignored it as she just kept on smiling, her body positioned in a strange angle as she tried to look at him without bumping into the woodwork of the table. “You’ll like him” she beamed “he is the so handsome” Clary went on “and kind”.   
  
“And his eyes are so pretty and he is so strong and funny” Alec huffed in a mucking tone, repeating back some of the things Clary had been saying over and over and over again.   
  
Nodding quickly, Clary again didn’t seem to get his mood “Yes, I almost forgot about his pretty eyes”.   
  
“Kill me now” Alec mumbled and closed his eyes again, not interested in anything Clary had to say.   
  
“Huh?” Clary let out as she made her way under the table where Alec was trying to rest.   
  
Grunting annoyingly, Alec opened his eyes and tried to push her back “What are you doing, just let me sleep” he complained, realising suddenly how loudly he had spoken and bit his own tongue like he was punishing himself for the slip.   
  
“You are so boring, just play with me” Clary pushed, refusing to get pushed back.   
  
Making a face, Alec shivered “Ew” he spat without thinking.   
  
“Not like that, Magnus is out and I am bored so just talk to me or something and don’t just lay there like a big lump of salt” Clary whined and though she was being rude, Alec at least appreciated that she was actually showing some character.   
  
Stopping his actions of trying to push Clary back, Alec frowned as he looked at Clary “Where is he?” It was weird, but in the two weeks that had passed, Magnus had barely left and when he had, he had only been gone a short while, so if Clary was bored he must have been out for a while now and Alec hadn’t even noticed.   
  
“I don’t know, but he is throwing a dinner party this weekend so maybe he is fixing something” Clary kept pushing until Alec gave in and let her lay down on the floor next to him, watching as her expression went from annoyed to pleased in a second.   
  
“Why didn’t you ask him?” Alec asked, shifting a little back, feeling a little uncomfortable with how close she was.   
  
Stretching her arms and fingers, possibly mockingly, Clary rolled over on her back and looked over at him “Why didn’t _you_  ask him?”   
  
“I don’t want to talk to him” Alec replied.   
  
“And I didn’t care where he was going” Clary smiled, clearly trying to push his buttons now.   
  
Still uncomfortable with how close they were, Alec managed to get past Clary and make his way out from under the table. Once outside, Alec picked up a piece of chicken from the plate that held his food and chewed slowly, looking around as he listened to the sound of Clary making her way out from under the table too.   
  
Feeling a sudden sharp pain in his shoulder, Alec pulled quickly away and looked wide-eyed at Clary as he realised she had just bit him. With his mouth partly hanging open, Alec stared at the red-haired girl in shock as he reached up and rubbed his shoulder with the palm of his hand. “What the fuck are you doing?”   
  
“Playing” Clary smiled, looking pleased with herself.   
  
“Playing?” Alec groaned, as he slowly crawled backwards away from her, keeping his eyes locked on her just in case she tried something funny.   
  
Still smiling, Clary nodded her head “Yes, it’s how we play”.  
  
“By biting each other? You might identify as an Irish Setter or some bullshit, but I don’t so just keep your rabies habits to yourself” Alec snapped, sitting back on his knees again and returning to rub his shoulder, surprised with just how hard she had bitten him.   
  
“I’m not a dog” Clary said with a sulky look on her face.   
  
Alec was about to congratulate her on the fact that she knew that Irish Setter was dog breed, but just then there was a sound filling the room that Alec now knew all too well and he cursed under his breath as the sound of Magnus’ footsteps echoed through the room when the warlock stepped through the portal.   
  
Very aware of how visible he was, Alec wanted to curl up like a ball but instead just froze, also suddenly very aware of how naked he was. He had almost gotten used to it, only wearing the tight black briefs, but now that he sat on his knees in the middle of the living room wearing nothing but those, being looked at by a fully clothed man who (if nothing else) looked his age, Alec felt very naked.   
  
“Hello Alexander, nice to see you up” Magnus said, but he was behind him as he started speaking and while he spoke he moved past him and towards the kitchen so Alec didn’t actually see him. Fuck, Alec thought to himself because there was no way he could get back to under the table to hide again without having to crawl on all fours while the stupid warlock watched (and that wasn’t happening) and the other option, to just sit there, wasn’t ideal either.   
  
Sitting still for the moment, Alec watched as Clary walked over towards him and sat down next to him smiling, like she had just won something.   
  
“I got you some strawberries, biscuit” Magnus sounded from the open kitchen, but even if he was a bit away, Alec could tell without looking his way that Magnus was looking at him, it was like his skin was burning.   
  
“Yay, thank you” Clary lighted up next to Alec.   
  
“Do you want some Alexander?” Magnus asked and Alec bit his teeth hard together as he looked down at the floor.  
  
“Psst” Clary sounded next to him “Do you know what kind of pets don’t answer their owners?”   
  
Alec slowly looked up and over at her.   
  
“Dogs” Clary chuckled, and stuck her tongue out at him playfully, like it was all a big joke to get.   
  
“Fuck you” Alec hissed a little too loudly, forgetting himself, again.   
  
“Alexander!” Magnus’ voice carried a hint of shock and anger “Don’t speak to Clary like that”.   
  
Alec bit his tongue again, what was he supposed to say to that? ‘She started it’ like a child would? Nothing, like Clary had just mocked him for?   
  
“Apologize to Clary” Magnus voice was stern and almost hostile now.   
  
Gritting his teeth, Alec breathed hard through his nose, there was no way he was apologizing to that cuckoo carrot of a girl.   
  
“Alexander” Magnus was moving towards him now and Alec felt a rush of adrenaline and anger as he looked up at stared at the man as he came closer.   
  
“No, you should apologize to me you sick fucking piece of shit” Alec snapped and for a second, Magnus looked so taken back and hurt that Alec almost regretted it, bit in for a penny in for a pound “In what twisted fucking world is it OK to keep humans and shadowhunters as pets? I hope you all burn in hell where you” Alec was cut off with the snap of a Magnus’ fingers. Alec’s mouth was moving, but no sound came out of his mouth as he did and he soundlessly screamed in frustration as Magnus stopped about a meter away from him, Clary having moved back and away from them both.   
  
“I wanted to let you come to terms with this in your own time, but I see that it might not be working out like I had hoped.” Magnus said sounding sad, which honestly offended Alec “I guess we’ll have to do this the hard way” Magnus went on and then said something, possibly in another language and as a cracking sound filled the room, Alec looked around to see that every piece of furniture that he would have been able to get under was replaced with one that he couldn’t, Magnus was taking away his ability to hide away.   
  
“Now, if you want to speak to me in a civil manner, you can come to me and I will let you speak, apart from that, the only four words that will make any sound are ‘I am sorry Clary’, in that order. I’m not asking you to like me or the situation you are in, I am just asking you to treat Clary with respect and at least be civil towards me”   
  
Alec wanted to scream at him, to fight him even, but with his hands taken away, his ability to stand and now his voice, he was truly reduced to nothing more than a household pet. Biting down hard at his lower lip, Alec fought the tears that were threatening to build and fall which would just show how frustrated and helpless he truly felt. Breathing shakily through his nose, Alec kept his eyes on Magnus’ knees as he sat on his own, feeling like the world was actually coming apart around him.   
  
It could have been second on minutes, but Magnus took a step closer to him and bent down, trying to get within his field of vision.   
  
“I know you are angry Alexander, but you are directing your anger at the wrong people. I am not asking for much” Magnus paused when Alec lifted his eyes and gave him a look that he hoped showed just how ridiculous that statement was “compared to what many others do” Magnus added. “You might think that I should let you go, but even if I had wanted to, there is no way of doing it. If I let you go inside our borders you will be caught and either put down or sold, and there is no way of knowing to whom and if I tried to bring you across the border, I would be killed on sight by your people. Now, you have three choices. You can starve yourself to death like your first plan, I will beg you not to, but I won’t stop you if that's what you truly want. You can keep on behaving like you do and deal with the consequences of that” Again Magnus paused and took a deep breath, like the thought of the first two options alone was making him sick. “Or last option, you behave and make the best of the situation and reap the rewards of doing so. I can’t give you everything you want, but I am willing to go pretty far for your comfort, so you should at least consider it.”   
  
Refusing to lower his eyes and show weakness, Alec just looked at the warlock with eyes that probably screamed of pain and hurt, but hopefully also of defiance and anger.   
  
Magnus seemed to be able to read his unwilling thoughts and let out a sigh. “I am having some people over this weekend, several of them have pets of their own that they will bring, maybe you will get along with some of them. One of them is really stubborn, kind of like you, maybe you’ll like her, she is probably about your age and pretty” Magnus tried to give him a smile and Alec flinched at the idea of being paired up with someone, especially a girl.   
  
“Anyway, the second you apologize to Clary, you’ll have your voice back.” Magnus said and stood back up again, leaving Alec sitting on his knees in silence on the floor as Magnus turned around and walked back towards the kitchen, calling for Clary to come and get the strawberries he had gotten her like nothing had happened.   
  
★★★★  
  
Alec had waited until Magnus and Clary were busy with something in the kitchen before he moved away from the centre of the living room, finding a corner and sitting down, leaning his forehead against the wall, still fighting the now constant need to cry his eyes out. The situation he found himself in seemed to just get darker and more complicated the more he thought about it and he was seriously considering just starving himself to death, but he didn’t really want to, not really.   
  
Having sat like that for hours, Alec’s head snapped up when there was a knock at the door and he watched as Magnus headed over and opened the door, letting a blonde man into the flat. Turning his attention to the wall again, Alec sat still like that, trying to block out the sound of the two men talking as embarrassment and shame burned through his veins from yet another person seeing him like this, annoyed that he couldn’t hide.   
  
Having sat there for hours without paying attention to the talking, eating and drinking, Alec hadn’t moved at all and didn’t still when Clary came over and sat down next to him.   
  
“Eh, I’m sorry I got you in trouble” Clary sounded small and genuine, but Alec didn’t even open his eyes, just sat there sulking.   
  
“I thought maybe I should give you a heads up, so” Clary started, but stopped when Alec turned his head and looked at her, his eyes shining with anger, enough of it for Clary to stutter.   
  
“Eh, m-maybe you should c-come with me” Clary stuttered before shutting up when Alec growled, surprised at first with the fact that it came out as an actual sound, but of course Magnus wouldn’t take away his ability to make animal sounds as that what he saw Alec as.   
  
Shrinking on the spot, Clary slowly crawled away from him like a scared dog would before she hurried out of the living room and headed for either the bathroom, Magnus’ bedroom or the pet room that Alec still hadn't entered but knew excited.   
  
Turning his head back, Alec went back to sulking in silence but now he was much more aware of his surroundings and the fact that Magnus was laughing was irritating to him, and also whoever the guy was sounded like he very much enjoyed the attention Magnus was clearly giving him. After a while the chatter died out and Alec slowly turned his head and looked over his shoulder and soundlessly gasped at what he saw.   
  
Magnus and the blond man was on the couch still, but the blond man was leaned back against the armrest with Magnus between his legs and they were more than just a little caught up in each other. The blond man’s hands were on Magnus’ clothed ass, pulling him down over himself, moaning (and now that Alec was aware of what was happening, the sound was deafeningly loud).   
  
Unable to take his eyes of what was happening in the room, Alec watched as Magnus and the blond man basically went at each other. It didn’t seem loving or caring, they were almost fighting each other but in a teasing way as they were getting each other undressed and when they had, Alec turned his head back and clenched his eyes shut, feeling hot and bothered as his heart raced in his chest.   
  
In shock and horror, Alec realised that his own body was starting to react to what was happening, even when he was looking away the sounds mixed with the knowledge of what was happening made his own member throb painfully in his briefs. Unsure of what he should do, Alec stayed frozen as the two men were quickly moving along, their grunts and moan making Alec’s skin tingle and even though Alec wasn’t experienced, the different sounds were easily identifiable.   
  
With every second that passed, Alec knew he was making it harder on himself because they were clearly not moving to the bedroom and that meant he would have to either stay and listen or leave, but leaving meant moving which increased the risk of being noticed and then they might wonder why he hadn’t left sooner.   
  
Biting his lip, Alec looked over his shoulder for a second time (against his better judgement) and held his breath as he watched a very naked Magnus again between the blond man’s legs, but now the man’s hand were on Magnus’ back, clawing at his skin as Magnus was thrusting into him. Alec couldn’t see the actual penetration bit, but he didn’t need a PhD to understand what was happening out of view and he hated himself a little for the fact that he was increasingly getting turned on by what he was watching.   
  
Alec was seeing them in what would be about 40 degree angle so he mainly saw Magnus’ back and the blond man’s legs, arms and a little bit of their faces, but he found himself unable to take his eyes of them, or Magnus. Alec wasn’t sure if it was the light or if he was just being a brainless idiot because of what was happening, but Magnus’ skin looked ridiculously soft, like it was made of the soft caramel it had the colour of and the way his muscles moved were mesmerizing to him.   
  
Biting back a whimper, Alec forced himself to turn his head back again, refusing himself the view because he hated him he told himself, he hated Magnus and he didn’t want him to be the reason he was feeling what he was feeling now.   
  
Not wanting them to catch him, Alec tried to very silently shift to lay down and curl up, hoping that maybe they would think he had slept through it all if they noticed him, it wasn’t a great plan but he also kind of didn’t want to leave.   
  
Staying curled up, Alec pulled his hands tightly up against his own chest because he didn’t want to be tempted to touch himself, and also he realised he wouldn’t be fully able to even if he had wanted to with how his hands were.   
  
Staying silent, Alec lay there listening, only falling asleep after both the men had come and fallen silent on the couch, and after Alec had shamefully tried and failed to get himself off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT! This chapter includes some things that are very serious and might be a trigger for many people. PLEASE read the warning tags.

The days passed by slowly, so very slowly. Alec had woken up the next day to the sound of the blond man from the day before and Magnus talking and enjoying themselves over breakfast. Having in a way given up, Alec had got up (on all fours) and walked out of the room, not caring anymore if Magnus saw him.  
  
Clary had tried to talk to him several times over the last few days, Alec had even heard her ask Magnus to give him his voice back even without the apology, but if he had it wouldn’t have made a difference as Alec had gone back to not even wanting to talk.  
  
No longer having anywhere to hide, Alec had started spending a fair bit of time in the ‘pet room’ that he earlier hadn’t even looked into. The room had soft floors which made it both comfortable to walk on as well as sleep on and it was filled with what was probably considered ‘appropriate’ pet entertainment but Alec ignored all of it, even the books as he figured it would only be some kind of brainwashing literature anyway. Whenever Magnus would enter the room, Alec would ‘get up’ and leave, not even looking at him (for more than one reason) as well as in fear of it showing that he had seen him doing what he did.  
  
Alec walked like a pet, ate like a pet and was slowly starting to feel like one. He had fought for week against the vampires and now against this pet thing, and he was just tired.  
  
“Alec” Clary’s small voice sounded as she looked at him from over by the door to the ‘pet room’. “Some of the guests are coming soon, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come and say hi?”  
  
Alec got up and shifted around, turning his back against her before laying down again. He was giving up, but he wasn’t about to play friends with a bunch of other ‘pets’ just because they were in the same situation as him.  
  
Closing his eyes, Alec went back to his numb existence, listening to the sound of Clary as she left him alone again and then to the background noise of both Magnus and Clary in the living room down the hall.  
  
★★★★  
  
Minutes passed by like hours and hours like days as Alec lay on the soft floor surrounded by pillows and just random stuff in general. Pushing up onto his knees, Alec felt his stomach rumble slightly but when he heard the sound of other and unfamiliar voices coming from the living room he decided to stay put, not wanting to expose himself to more people than he had to.  
  
Alec wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he was still sitting back on his knees when he heard talk from someone coming down the hall and he huffed silently as Clary showed up by the door again. Clary looked a little unsure, averting his eyes as she walked into the room, followed by a girl with blond hair tied up in a ponytail who only wore what looked like a sport bra and briefs and a man that with blond hair (possibly Clary’s boyfriend that Alec couldn’t remember the name of for some reason) who only wore briefs just like Alec’s as well as a thick chain that hug around his neck.  
  
The two new people were clearly shadowhunters as well, the girl still covered in a fair few fading runes and the man sporting a rather fresh iratze rune on his arm. The small group sat down in a small circle, chatting in a hushed tone, the man sometimes glancing over at Alec though curious eyes.  
  
Letting out a sigh, Alec got up on all fours again and made his way out of the room, He really didn’t want to be there with them and since he also didn’t want to be in living room with Magnus and his guests, Alec headed to Magnus’ bedroom.  
  
Alec rarely ever went in there (again, for obvious reasons), but now it was the only empty room he could enter except the bathroom so he did, ignoring the bed even though he guessed he was allowed to get on it and instead decided on the floor opposite side of the room.  
  
He hadn’t stayed there long before someone joined him. Alec had been sitting back on his knees with his head down, staring at the floor but lifted his eyes at the sound of someone moving across the floor and saw the blond man that he had seen earlier with Clary walk over towards him. Lowering his eyes again, Alec said a little prayer hoping he wasn’t there for him, cursing soundlessly as the man sat down next to him.  
  
“Clary said you were new” the man said, his voice and looks indicated that he was probably around Alec’s age. Surprised, Alec flinched when the man’s fingers ran down the side of his neck, looking up and at the blond (rather attractive) man in shock at the sudden uninvited touch.  
  
“Sorry” The man smiled “I am just fascinated, I haven’t seen runes like this in a long time” .  
  
Blinking his eyes a few times, Alec realised that he must be talking about his deflecting rune on his neck which hadn’t faded yet as well as all of his other that still showed. Looking at the almost completely naked man, Alec couldn’t see any runes except the iratze rune on his arm, not even faded ones. Swallowing, Alec figured the blond must have been a pet for some time ifr all of them had faded completely, or maybe he had been born here like Clary.  
  
“Can I?”  
  
The blond man looked at him with almost pleading eyes and Alec felt pity for him. Alec wouldn’t consider himself lucky, but he had experienced more freedom than this man had, and a lot more recently.  
  
Nodding slowly, Alec sat still as the man reached out and lightly traced the lines of the rune on his neck, looking absolutely fascinated by it. Shivering slightly, Alec didn’t protest as the man’s hand moved down his back to the accuracy rune drawn there, again tracing it out. Alec knew that he had once had the calm anger rune just below that, but he figured that would have faded by now.  
  
Turning his head, Alec looked at the blond as he kept finding new runes on his body to trace and Alec admitted to himself that he enjoyed the attention, not able to remember the last time he had willingly been touched. Sure, Magnus had tried to touch him once and his vampire friend had yanked his head around and yes, the vampires who had fed on him and beaten him had in a way touched him- but not like this.  
  
“They are really pretty” the blond said and Alec found himself smiling “I wish I still had mine” he added and Alec’s smile instantly fell, realising that he would one day be like him, longing for his then faded runes.  
  
“Guessing from what runes you have” The man shifted closer to him and Alec felt a rush of heat wash over him, not sure what he should be doing “you were a soldier” the man went on, slowly closing the distance between them, his hot breath tingling against his face. Trembling, Alec just closed his eyes as the blond pressed his lips against his and just accepted the kiss, surrendering to the other man. He shouldn't, not with how much Clary had talked about him, clearly caring for the man, but Alec just wanted to feel something, anything, and with all the pent up frustration of anger and his inability to get himself off, this felt right.  
  
Letting out a small groan, Alec found himself missing the feel of the man’s lips as he pulled back and moved a little around him, licking and nibbling up the side of Alec’s shoulder and neck. Closing his eyes, Alec enjoyed the hands moving over his body and the feel of the blond’s lips and teeth against his skin so much that when he was pushed forward he didn’t even think about it until he had to catch himself, finding himself back on all four.  
  
The blond was behind him and Alec shivered as he felt his cock pressed against his ass, only separated from him by the two thin layers of fabric of their briefs. Letting out a small moan, Alec opened his eyes and then jumped as he saw Magnus entering the room, their eyes finding each other when Magnus spotted them.  
  
Magnus’ expression was one of shock before it turned into one of realisation with a hint of what could possibly be disappointment as he gave a forced smile and quickly turned around and left, clearly not wanting to disturb them.  
  
Feeling his heart beat hard in his chest, Alec was snapped out of whatever had come over him and the feeling of the blond behind him no longer felt nice, but wrong. He didn’t know him, he didn’t know if he liked him and sleeping with him just because he needed to feel something just felt dirty now and no part of Alec was excited about what was happening anymore. Unable to speak, Alec tried to move away only to be held back by his hips, the other man keeping him in place.  
  
“He left, it's ok” The blonde said behind him, probably guessing that the fact that Magnus had walked in on them was what had turned Alec off the idea, and even if there was a some truth to it, it hadn’t been the deciding factor. Shaking his head as he tried to move away again, Alec let out a surprised grunt as he collapsed forward, shocked to realise the guy had grabbed a hold of his arm to pull it away from under him, making him lose his balance.  
  
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be” The blond growled behind him, his tone no longer soft and friendly like it had been only a minute ago. Whimpering from the pain lingering from his head having hit the floor, Alec tried to get away but instead got pushed down flat onto his stomach. The blond had one hand against the back of his neck now, pressing down hard and digging his fingers into his skin and with Alec’s legs forced bent back and without being able to grip anything, he was unable to do much else than trashing about a little.  
  
Closing his eyes in shame, Alec mouthed out a soundless ‘stop’ and ‘no’ as the man tugged hard enough at his briefs for them to rip. Tired and broken, Alec tried to to push himself up but was harshly pushed down, tasting blood as his face crashed back down against the floor. This wasn’t happening, he tried to tell himself as he was forced naked, the little bit of fabric that had covered him being ripped away from him.  
  
“You just need to submit, you’re a soldier, you understand the idea of hierarchy” The blond grunted behind him as Alec felt the unmistakable shape of a dick press between his exposed cheeks, desperately trying to clench them shut to keep him out. Trying to kick his legs, reach behind himself, push back and pull away, Alec whimpered as every attempt at getting away or stopping what was happening was failing, fear and panic cutting deeper into him with each passing second.  
  
Crying out in pain, Alec felt light headed as the blond’s fingers dug into his hair and slammed his face down against the floor several times almost knocking him unconscious before he then pushed his body against Alec’s, making Alec soundlessly cry out as the severity of the situation gripped him and he realised what would happen in just a few seconds . In pure desperation and without knowing why, Alec tried to call out for help, shocked as the sound of his voice filled the room as he called out Magnus’ name.  
  
Clenching his eyes shut, every muscle in Alec’s body tensed up as he prepared himself for what was coming, tears mixing with the blood from his lips and nose as he felt the other man’s member trying to push into him.  
  
“Sebastian” Magnus voice thundered through the room and in the next second the blond was magically thrown off Alec, crashing against the wall behind them.  
  
Gasping, Alec tried to claw himself away from the spot he was laying on, his heart racing still as Magnus reached him and pulled him up onto his knees, wrapping his arms protectively around him. Breathing hard, Alec shook as he leaned against Magnus, his brain still not fully understanding what had just happened, or almost had happened.  
  
At the sound of Sebastian grunting annoyed from somewhere behind him, Alec to his own disappointment flinched and tried to grab a hold of Magnus, who at this point was the only thing protecting him from the blond.  
  
“Camille” Magnus called out, his voice dark and threatening “come get your fucking monster”.  
  
It took less than three second for the vampire to show up in the room, balancing on high red pumps.  
  
“What?” Camille huffed.  
  
Not looking at her, Alec let his head rest against Magnus shoulder as he tried to calm his breathing, hating how shaken he was.  
  
“Take your little monster and get him out of my apartment” Magnus ordered.  
  
“I was just establishing my dominance” Sebastian growled from somewhere behind Alec.  
  
Camille let out several sounds showing her displeasure with the situation “I’m sure whatever happened here wasn’t as bad as you think, you know you have a tendency to overreact Magnus”.  
  
“Remove him or I swear that I’ll make his insides his outsides” Magnus barked and just like the first time, Camille finally listened and not long after both her and Sebastian were gone, the blond harshly pulled across the floor by the chain around his neck.  
  
Alec sat on his knees still breathing hard as Magnus slowly pulled back, his hands gently cupping Alec’s face, brushing his thumbs over his cheeks. “Are you ok, sweetie? He didn’t?” Magnus stopped, the fear in his eyes visible as he silently asked if he had come too late.  
  
Shaking his head, Alec voiced a small ‘no’, sound actually leaving him as he did.  
  
“Thank God” Magnus breathed in relief.  
  
Still somewhat in shock, Alec just looked at the warlock as he kneeled in front of him, looking at him with what seemed like genuine care, but then again, Alec had thought Sebastian was genuine as well.  
  
Pulling one of his hands a little back, Magnus looked a little unsure “You are bleeding. Can I help you heal?”  
  
Alec wasn’t sure if it was the shock, the need for something good or the fact that he was given an actual choice that made him nod, but as soon as he did his skin tingled as blue light sparked from Magnus’ hand, brushing over his skin like water washing away the pain. It probably took a minute before Magnus stopped and Alec no longer tasted blood, but still feeling a little lightheaded.  
  
With the snap of his fingers, Magnus held a cloth in his hand and when he ran it gently over Alec’s nose and cheek to clean away the blood, Alec for some unknown reason broke down again, gasping for air like a suffocating as fresh tears streamed down his face as he shook, everything coming over him all at once.  
  
Caught off guard, Magnus pulled him back into a hug, holding him tightly as Alec fisted his hands into his shirt, holding onto him, more because he was the only one there than anything else. He missed his family, his friends, his freedom and with everything he had lost, the sudden realisation of how close he had come to having yet another thing taken from him by force was too much.  
  
“Oh, sweetheart” Magnus mumbled as he gently ran his hands up and down Alec’s back, trying to comfort him. “Come on, let's get you into bed so you can rest. I’ll make sure no one bothers you, you’ll be safe”  
  
Stumbling a little, Alec let himself get pulled up and guided over to Magnus big bed and then willingly climbed onto it and laid down. Pulling the duvet up over him, Magnus tucked him in before gently wiping away some of his tears.  
  
“I just need to sort some things out and I’ll be back, ok?” Magnus looked concerned as he stepped back “Call out if you need anything, but I won’t be long, I promise” he said as he walked backwards a few feet before turning around and heading out of the room, leaving Alec alone in the big bed.  
  
Closing his eyes, Alec couldn’t stop the tears, but before the anger could take him over, exhaustion and the lack of adrenaline did and he drifted off into an uneasy and dreamless sleep.  
  
★★★★  
  
Sitting up suddenly as he woke, Alec looked around with his heart beating so hard and fast in his chest that it felt like it was going to crash through his ribs. The room was almost completely dark with just a little bit of night light shining in through the large set of windows.  
  
Taking in everything his eyes was able to focus on in the dark, Alec saw the outline of a man, of Magnus, fully dressed and draped around a duvet instead of lying under it. At the foot of the bed was another person, Clary, and it took Alec a few seconds to realise but she was awake and looking at him, the light reflecting off of her round eyes.  
  
“Did you have a nightmare?” Clary whispered, not moving from where she was curled up.  
  
Shaking his headat first, Alec remembered that he had been able to speak before he had gone to sleep and took a deep breath before giving it a go, worried he would be disappointed in the result.  
  
“I don’t think so” Alec whispered, relieved that sound actually came out. He couldn't remember dreaming anything, he just woke up very suddenly and was filled with a gripping fear of something he couldn’t name.  
  
“I think you did” Clary whispered, probably knowing more than he did, maybe he had moved about a lot or something. Reaching up, Alec ran his hand over his face until he reached his mouth, covering it as he concentrated on relaxing to stop his heavy breathing.  
  
Alec was just about to ask her if he had talked in his sleep or something when a realisation hit him and threw his train of thoughts off track. Slowly pulling his hand that had been on his face back, he looked at his outstretched fingers in the dark. Closing his fingers into a fist before stretching them out again, Alec bit down hard on his lip to keep himself from sobbing from joy of just having his hands back. Looking down at his legs, Alec saw that also his legs were stretched out and without thinking Alec pushed out of the bed and just stood there, his legs shaking under the weight of his body after so long on his knees.  
  
Taking one step forward, Alec smiled to himself as he turned around and looked at Clary whose eyes still reflected the light from outside. The redhead looked at him and then down his body and then back up at him before giggling. Wondering what she was looking at, Alec looked down and saw that he was still naked and instantly covered himself with his hands before he wide-eyed tripped forward to climb back onto the bed, wrapping the duvet around himself.  
  
“I’m sorry” Clary giggled and covered her eyes with her hands, possibly blushing.  
  
Frowning, Alec held onto the duvet as he looked at her “Don’t get any ideas”.  
  
“Eww” Clary laughed, covering her mouth with her hands now instead of her eyes to keep herself quiet “you wish”she whispered through her fingers.  
  
“Oh I really don’t” Alec huffed, but couldn’t help but smile as he shifted to be able to lay down again. Relaxing as he slowly let his eyes drift shut, still feeling tired and a little sick. As soon as the room went quiet around him, images of Sebastian flashed before his eyes and Alec’s eyes shot back open again as he without meaning to let out a pained sound.  
  
Clary’s head peeked up again and the petite girl tilted her head to the side as she looked at him “Are you ok?”.  
  
Breathing purposely slowly, Alec tried to lie but his mouth wouldn’t move and he instead stayed quiet. Laying there in the dark, Alec’s eyes went out of focus as he felt the bed shift and move before Clary suddenly sat next to him, looking down at him.  
  
Moving over, Clary half lay down next to him, leaning against the pillows resting against the headboard of the bed as she reached up and very gently stroke her fingers through his hair. Flinching at the feel of her touch, Alec heard Clary hush him softly “It’s ok, just sleep” Clary whispered as she kept on very gently brushing her fingers through his hair, her hands never straying from it. “It gets better” she added, sounding too sure, to familiar with the idea for comfort, but again Alec was too tired and with the comforting hand playing with his hair, he slowly drifted back off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and for leaving comments.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @ShadowOfMystic on twitter (AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMystic) for beta reading this chapter for me.

The morning after Alec had woken up confused, but more rested than he had felt in ages. Spending a night in a comfortable soft bed had done wonders for his body, and after having fallen asleep for the second time, his sleep had been dreamless and peaceful.

Clary and Magnus were nowhere to be found when he had woken up, but Alec had found a new change of clothes (if that little bit of fabric he was ‘allowed’ to wear could be called that), next to the bed.

Alec had gotten out of bed and pulled on the little piece of clothing and for a few seconds he had just stood there, upright with his fingers stretched out, feeling almost free.

“Make sure to get back down whenever Magnus is around”

Clary’s voice came from the open door and Alec quickly turned and looked at her, the hostility he had been feeling towards her since the very first day somewhat dampened after last night. “What do you mean?” Alec asked, rolling his shoulders back and letting out a small satisfied groan. He had never had the movements of his arms and shoulders inhibited, but there was just something about moving them as he stood.

Clary was sitting on the floor like she usually did, smiling up at him sweetly “I mean, as long as you stay on all fours around Magnus, you can walk around like you please when he is out of sight. I imagine you want to keep this freedom, I am just telling you how to”.

Nodding, Alec wiggled his fingers and then stretched. Even with how good it felt to again be standing, and not just for a second like the night before, there was something that was eating away at him in the back of his mind, making him feel uncomfortable.

Sebastian.

Shivering, Alec tried to shake the feeling by walking over to one of the large mirrors in Magnus’ bedroom and looked at himself. Alec hadn’t really looked at himself since he had been home with his family and friends, hadn’t redeemed his looks important enough to seek out his own reflection, and now that he saw it he was happy he hadn’t.

He was pale and even having just slept long and well, Alec had dark rings under his eyes. His skin also didn’t look particularly healthy and he was a lot skinnier than he had been, maybe skinnier than he had ever been as an adult and his hair was flat and lifeless, even his eyes looked strangely grey.

“You look sad” Clary’s voice yet again filled the room and Alec for a second time looked at her.

Shrugging his shoulders, Alec tried to play it off, guessing that he must have looked a little disappointed with what he had seen. “I just look different, I didn’t know” Alec said and faked a small smile before looking back at himself. It wasn’t that he was vain or shallow, he had never been very interested in his own looks, but he had also never looked this bad. Reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, Alec looked down at his own body and let out a sigh, maybe he was that shallow?

Lost in his own mind, Alec almost jumped as Clary called out his name and as he looked up he saw Magnus just as he was about to enter the room and without thinking, Alec dropped down on the floor and sat still, feeling his heart race in his chest. He wasn’t scared of Magnus, but of what he could so easily take from him.

Holding his breath, Alec watched with big round eyes as Magnus passed Clary, his hand gently running over her head as he did before walked over to his closet right next to where Alec sat.

“Are you feeling a little better?” Magnus asked and then added “Alexander?” when he got no reply.

Biting his tongue, Alec thought back to his protest and what it had cost him. He wasn’t ok with what was happening, but he didn’t want to push his luck and also, Magnus had been in some ways nice to him last night?

“Yeah” Alec let past his lips and it was the first time he had said anything that wasn’t dripping with hatred or anger when the words were directed at Magnus.

Watching the warlock turn around with some kind of piece of clothing draped over his arm, Alec’s eyes met Magnus’. Magnus didn’t look like he completely believed him, but he didn’t comment so Alec didn’t either, it wasn’t like he would have talked even if he hadn’t felt as ok.

“You need to eat something. You can have it here if you like as I’m having people over”

Flinching unconscionably at the idea of anyone coming over, Alec found himself pulling a little back, the idea of people he didn’t trust being around him as he felt this defenceless strangely freaking him out now.

Magnus must have seen his reaction as he lowered himself down, balancing his weight on the ball of his foot as he looked at Alec. “No pets” Magnus said and reached out, his hand hovering in the air for a second like he was waiting for something before he finalised his movement and his fingers brushed into Alec’s hair at the side of his head.

Surprised by his own lack of reaction to the touch, Alec just sat still without speaking or moving a muscle as he listened to Magnus talk.

“No one is getting near you, I promise”, Magnus said as Alec let his eyes drop. He didn’t want to talk about it, he didn’t want Magnus to talk about it, but he also didn’t want to comment. “I will do everything in my power to always keep you safe, I failed you yesterday, I’m sorry” Magnus when on and then not long after pushed back up again, his hand lingering for a few seconds before he stepped back “I’ll let you eat here”.

Watching as Magnus stepped away, Alec noticed the food appearing at the snap of the warlocks fingers as he walked away. Alec wasn’t sure what to do or how to act, so he settled for doing nothing at all until Magnus had left the room.

Looking over at Clary who still sat by the door, Alec made a face.

“He isn’t that bad” Clary said, her head tipping slightly to the side, her hair that usually was tied back but now hung loose fell down over her shoulder.

Huffing annoyed, Alec pushed himself back up again so he could stand, feeling like he had to while he could “He is keeping us as pets”.

“I am a pet” Clary pouted.

“I’m not” Alec replied and then watched as Clary got back up on all fours and with a sad expression on her face walked out, leaving him to himself and his food, which he would make sure to eat while they both were away- after he had walked around for a bit to enjoy his ability to do so.

★★★★

Alec had stayed in Magnus’ room for a few hours before leaving to go into the ‘pet’ room when he heard that people were coming. It wasn’t that he thought they would come into Magnus’ room, but there was even a smaller chance of them entering the ‘pet’ room when they weren’t any other pets coming.

Alec had just sat there for a while before Clary had joined him, but she hadn’t said anything and had just walked over to him and laid down next to him, resting her head on his leg as she flipped through a book.

Minutes had turned to hours and even though Alec was getting used to being bored by now, it was still tiresome because his head wouldn’t stop spinning when he didn’t have anything else to occupy his time with. Clary didn’t say anything for hours, but Alec was in a way glad that she was there because his mind kept going back to Sebastian and then to the time he had spent in that hole in the ground as vampire food and all the way back to that day when he had been taken.

He missed his family so much. Izzy and Max, he even missed his parents who had never been the most warm and caring parents, but they had at least treated him like a person and loved him, in their own way.

Clary had fallen asleep at one point and Alec hadn’t bothered to wake her up, but when she by herself woke up a few hours later, she looked a little rough and even Alec found her sweet - in the same way he might have found Izzy cute if it had been her.

Stretching, Clary did something Alec had never seen her do before, she stood up and jumped up and down a few times. “Has everyone left? What's the time?” Clary asked as she turned around to look at the clock on the wall, leaving Alec answering pointless.

“I think so” Alec replied, still a little shocked as he watched Clary walk around, stretching her legs. “I didn’t think you did that”

“Has Magnus come by to say good night?” Clary asked as she looked down at him, smiling “and I don’t do it often, but my legs were tingling” she said as she sunk back down onto her hands and knees, acting like everything was still well and dandy.

Shaking his head, Alec paused for a second “I can’t be 100% sure, I might have drifted off once or twice, I’m actually not sure”.

Nodding, Clary walked towards the door, wiggling her toes as she did “I’m going to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow” she said as she reached the door “good night, Alec”.

★★★★

Alec had just sat in the pet room for a good hour after Clary had left. It was more comfortable to sleep in there than it was on the floor in the living room, and sleeping on the couch meant he might be in the way in the morning, so the best option was usually the pet room, but now Alec couldn’t relax.  

Twitching and turning, Alec couldn’t keep his mind off Sebastian. Having his back against the open room was out of the question as a wave of anxiety would wash over him and he wouldn’t be able to even relax, his heart racing and his mouth feeling dry. Having his back against the wall was better, but as soon as he closed his eyes he was again feeling his heart thunder against his chest and his eyes would shoot open and scan the room, like he expected someone to be there.

Standing up, Alec walked  in circles around  the brightly lit room. Clary hadn’t turned off the light when she left and it was for the best,  a dark room would probably have made everything he was now experiencing so much worse. Growling angrily at himself, Alec punched the wall in front of himself several times before he pulled his bleeding hand back, whimpering slightly but happy that the physical pain of his injured hand was at least numbing his mental pain from not being able to sleep. Frustrated with it all, Alec walked out of the pet room and down the hall, looking at all the doors leading to the bathroom, Magnus’ office, a storage room as well as a door that Alec had seen before, but was unsure where it lead to- and Magnus’ bedroom. Inhaling slowly, Alec walked over to the door that stood ajar and peeked into the dark room.

Due to the hallways lying in darkness, the little light that came in through the big windows in Magnus’ bedroom made it possible for Alec to make out the two figures in the bed. Magnus was under the covers and as far as Alec could tell by the looks of his silhouette he had his back against the door. Like the night before, Clary lay kind of at the bottom of the bed, curled up again like she always did.

Alec knew he could go in there because Magnus didn’t discriminate between him and Clary so if she could- he could, but he was fighting with himself about whether or not he wanted to. On one hand, if he went in there he would most likely be able to sleep but on the other hand it would be like giving up.

Standing in the hall, leaning his weight against the the doorframe, Alec stood there for a long time just looking at them. It was bizarre, the both of them were absolutely mental in their own way and Alec couldn’t wrap his mind around any of their actions or ideas, but he also wasn’t as disgusted with them as he had been just a week ago.

Yawning, Alec decided against his better judgment to go in, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to sleep on his own and was just about to walk into the room when he froze. Could he walk in or did he have to get down on all four? If Magnus was awake and saw him, would he seem like a threat if he was walking towards him? Would he be angry? Chewing on his lip, Alec slowly lowered himself down onto the floor and walked on all fours over to the bed. Sitting back, Alec looked up at the bed and swallowed slowly.

How would he sleep? Could he sleep where he had yesterday or would he have to sleep at the end of the bed like Clary? Magnus’ bedroom was a little cooler than all the other rooms in the apartment, but could he get under the covers or was that something he had only been allowed to do because of what had happened with Sebastian?

Sebastian.

Even the thought of his name made Alec feel slightly sick. Why was this upsetting him so much? Trying to tell himself that Sebastian hadn’t actually done anything didn’t seem to help and only made Alec more frustrated with himself.

“Get yourself together” Alec mumbled to himself as squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best to calm himself by breathing very slowly.

Unsure of how to get onto the bed because of its height, Alec decided to stand up and get on it the way normal people would and breathed out a sigh of relief when neither Magnus nor Clary seemed to stir or wake from the motion caused by him doing so.

Opting on something in the middle of everything he had been wondering about, Alec lay down like he had the night before, but unlike the night before he stayed over the covers instead of getting under them and instead pulled his legs up in a fetal position to keep warm.

Breathing out, Alec found that he was able to relax when he was laying there, so even though that actually annoyed him, he was too tired and ended up quickly drifting off to sleep.

★★★★

Waking up the next morning, Alec was struggling as the warm duvet covering him was lulling him into such a relaxed state that his mind was having a hard time keeping him from just drifting back to sleep. Feeling warm skin pressed against his own and the presence of someone else, Alec let out a confused grunt before his eyes shot open when he realized what it was. In his sleep Alec must have rolled over and tried to get under the covers, possibly because he was cold, and now he had his arm wrapped around Magnus who was still sound asleep, laying on his back and breathing slowly.

Feeling a rush of panic, Alec tried to pull his arm back only to panic further as Magnus grunted and opened his eyes. Pushing away, Alec couldn’t get out of the bed quickly enough and in his haste stumbled over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. Letting out a pained whimper as his body crashed against the cold hard surface, Alec in a hurry pushed himself up and onto his feet. Meeting Magnus’ eyes as he had, Alec realized what he was doing and his panic reached new heights as he quickly dropped down on the floor again, wishing that a hole would just open up and swallow him - no matter where it would lead, even Edom would be better than this room right now.

If he could walk he would have ran out of the room, but ‘running’ when you were on all fours was not just hard but would also make him look and feel even more ridiculous than he already felt so Alec settled on making himself as small as he possibly could, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he bowed his head, hoping against hope that it would all just go away.

“Alexander?”

Magnus voice came from above and his tone was gentle and showed what sounded like true concern, but Alec didn’t answer, just kept his head down.

“You are hurt” Alec heard Magnus say and opened his eyes to see that somehow he had managed to rip open the wounds from yesterday when he had punched the wall, his hand swollen and now bleeding as he pressed it firmly against the floor.

“What happened?”

A second after Magnus had asked he was on the floor next to him, grabbing a hold of his hand and lifting it up off the floor, inspecting it and turning it over in his.

“Are you ok?”

Alec didn’t know what to answer, didn’t even dare to lift his head and look at Magnus and instead just turned his head to the side, seeing their reflection in the mirror he had looked at himself in the day before. Magnus was sitting on his knees next to him, his eyes on him and if Alec had thought he looked ill before, it was nothing compared to how poorly he saw himself when comparing his own to the healthy body and posture of the other man.

Alec was hunching over, curled up like he was trying to fade away, his limbs looking too long and strange in the positions they were kept in while Magnus looked strong and confident in the way he held himself, even while on his knees.

Lifting his eyes, Alec saw Clary as well, laying on the bed with her eyes fixed on him through the mirror, her eyes echoing the concerned tone of Magnus’ voice.

Trying to pull his hand back, Alec again lowered his head “It’s ok, I’m ok” he stuttered out, suddenly worried he would get in trouble for punching the wall. It must have left a mark, it would be high up, Magnus would know that he had been standing and then he’d stood again this morning.

Feeling Magnus’ hand holding onto his, not letting him pull it back, Alec clenched his eyes shut again. Why couldn’t he just leave him alone?

“Let me help you” Magnus said, one of his hands now resting over the back of Alec’s.

“It’s ok, it’s ok” Alec kept stuttering but without trying to pull his hand back now, in his mind he kept telling himself to get his shit together. “I’m sorry” Alec heard himself cry, his panic having possibly reached another level as his head was spinning with worry.  

“Alexander, hey, it’s ok”

Before Alec could comment, Magnus was wrapping his arms around him, his warm skin pressed against Alec’s as he hugged him tight. Alec was torn between wanting to pull away and leaning against the comforting touch, trembling as Magnus’ hand cupped the back of his head.

Pulling back, Alec let Magnus pull him up until he was standing. Lifting his eyes slightly until they rested on Magnus’ adam’s apple, Alec suddenly felt very uncomfortable, like he wasn’t supposed to be able to look at him like this, from above.

“Lay down, get some rest” Magnus said and with and encouraging movement pushed Alec back towards the bed.

Sitting down on the edge like a normal person would, Alec just looked at Magnus as the other man walked away from them and out of the room. His heart still beating painfully hard in his chest.

“I told you so” Clary hummed softly from somewhere behind him “he’s not so bad”.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @ShadowOfMystic on twitter (AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMystic) for beta reading this chapter for me.

Magnus had disappeared while Alec was sat on the bed and when he returned with a hot cup of tea, he had basically ordered Alec back under the covers and handed him the mug, letting him drink it like a normal human being. Alec had let Magnus wrap him up in one of the duvets like it was a cocoon and also given in and let him heal his hand.    
  
Magnus had said nothing more about it, even the day after when he had indeed noticed the mark on the wall from where Alec had punched it, he hadn’t mentioned a thing. Alec wondered why he seemed to be giving him a break, but he was too tired to put too much thought into it. Exhausted from the stress of constantly worrying, Alec was starting to fall into a routine again. He would wake up in the morning (having gone back to sleeping in the living room on the sofa again), try to work out even though he was feeling weak, eat once Magnus woke up and then just stay in the pet room until it was dinner time, eat and then go to bed. It was different this time around though and Alec wasn’t as fussed about being seen walking around on all fours anymore. When Magnus spoke to him, he would try to answer and even when he saw and heard things that he would normally object to, he just kept his head down and stayed silent. 

Lying on the floor of the pet room, Alec was on his back looking at the ceiling above him. He wasn’t really thinking about anything except a small grey spot  (one that he wasn’t even sure was really there) it might just be something he could see because his eyes were getting tired from looking at all the whiteness. Stretching out his legs as far as he could, he shivered slightly as the soft flooring touched the back of his thighs, feeling cold. His arms and legs ached even now after he had regained the ability to stand and stretch, his body simply not adjusting to having to spend so much time on his hands and knees. 

Hearing the sound of Clary and Magnus talking, Alec rolled over onto his stomach before pushing up and making his way out of the room. Peeking around the corner, he didn’t see them but heard their voices from down the hall. It wasn’t that he wanted to see them so much as he was just bored, so he walked down the hall, his knees feeling sore as they pressed against the hard floor. Reaching the bathroom, Alec looked into the room and saw Clary in the bath, a tower of foam on top of her head as she lay back with one leg stretched out of the water, having one of her feet rubbed by Magnus who was sitting back and chatting with her softly. 

Sitting back on his knees, Alec leaned his head against the doorframe as he watched them interact. Clary looked so relaxed and even happy, smiling as she talked. He wasn’t really listening to what she was saying, only catching the name ‘Jace’ now and again, giggling like what was happening was normal, like they were just a pair of teenage friends hanging out talking about boys. 

Alec wasn’t sure how long he had been sitting there, but Magnus at one point had moved on to her arm and was gently massaging her palm and forearm when he suddenly turned and looked at him. Feeling like he had been caught seeing something he shouldn’t, he was just about to turn and leave when Magnus smiled before looking back at Clary, not commenting on his presense. Biting his lip, Alec decided to still pull away and made his way back to the pet room, lying back down on his back and finding that grey spot again that was clearly there. 

 

★★★★

 

The days were blurring into each other as the weeks passed by. Every few days, Clary would be away and return all giddy and happy talking nonstop about her blonde boyfriend. Magnus had promised after the incident with Sebastian that he wouldn’t let any other pets into his house and was keeping that promise, instead letting Clary go to visit her friend. It was actually nice that she did as the stories she was telling about Jace were slowly becoming the highlights of those days. Jace seemed like a nice guy based on what Clary was saying and he realised that he was almost a little envious of her. Of course she was about as sane as a bag of nuts, but she at least seemed happy and not lonely and miserable like Alec felt. 

Magnus did talk to him, but Alec had a habit of answering with as few words as possible and only when he needed to and as much as Clary’s stories about Jace were bordering on interesting, it wasn’t really all that fun to try to have an actual conversation with her. Even with that being the case, he was basically living through her, living through her stories of what she and Jace had been up to, what had happened at the house the blonde stayed at and even through her interactions and conversations with Magnus. 

Clary was getting clean the same way Alec did (with a snap of Magnus’ fingers), but once a week, as far as he understood, she would have an actual bath. Sometimes she would have them by herself and those days Alec would leave her to it, but most times Magnus would keep her company. She never got naked, always wearing something similar to what she usually wore (just black) and she got into the bath like a normal person, even with Magnus in the room. Magnus would chat with her about whatever she wanted to talk about as he massaged out the knots and aches of her legs and arms before washing her hair. It was weird, but it also seemed kind of nice. 

Alec would usually sit by the door just watching them, watch as Clary got out and how Magnus would wrap a massive fluffy towel around her and then as she sat on the floor while he dried and brushed her hair. Sometimes, like when she wanted some alone time, she would do that herself too and Magnus would smile and leave her to it, so it was clear to Alec that it was something he did for her and not the other way around. 

It was a pet thing, Alec knew. It was like when Magnus would sit on the couch and Clary would lay there while he played with her hair as he read, watched TV or sometimes talked to her (about the most mundane stuff, but Alec guessed it was because that's all she knew). It was silly and stupid and Alec didn’t want it, but he also kind of did. Magnus had hugged him after he had stumbled out of bed, but maybe because Alec had now moved out of the bedroom and back onto the sofa, Magnus hadn’t touched him again since then, Clary hadn’t either. 

Sitting in the doorway watching as Magnus brushed Clary’s hair before giving it some wavy curls with a small movement of his hand, Alec wondered if this was it. If this was going to be his life from now on, with them but ultimately being all alone. 

“You want a bath too?”    
  
Magnus’ question brought Alec out of his thoughts and he almost jumped where he sat as he looked at the warlock. Surprised and taken aback by what he had been asked, Alec froze. He had thought about what he would say (weeks ago) if he was ever asked, but it had never happened and he had just assumed that it wouldn’t; that it was a thing Magnus only did with Clary. 

Just looking at Magnus, Alec opened his mouth but no words came out. Lowering his head slightly while still keeping his eyes on Magnus, Alec closed his mouth again, unable to find an answer he would be satisfied with.    
  
“I don’t have to be here, but maybe it will help, you look a bit sore” Magnus continued, his voice as soft and caring as always. 

Alec  _ was _ sore, he was constantly feeling sore and he hadn’t actually had a bath for months. He was clean, that wasn’t the problem, but Alec couldn’t remember the last time he had actually been wet. “Ok” Alec heard himself whisper, even with such a short word he heard his own voice break half way through because of how rarely he spoke. 

Magnus looked genuinely surprised by the answer, which was somehow a little pleasing. He pushed some of Clary’s hair back behind her ear before telling her to head out to give him some privacy, which Alec was happy about. It wasn’t that he felt nervous around her or anything, it was just something new and he wasn’t sure he wanted an audience.    
  
The bath had been drained, but Magnus was already starting to fill it back up again, looking through the many bottles that stood perfectly lined on a shelf to the left of the bath. “I think what Clary likes might be a little too sweet scented for you. Do you want to use one of mine?” Magnus asked as he turned around, holding a clear bottle filled with what looked like tiny cream and mocha coloured pebbles in it.    
  
Still by the door, Alec simply nodded as a reply. Magnus usually asked him questions that could be answered with a simple yes or no, which he liked, it made it easier to reply and had him worry less about saying the right or wrong thing. 

Magnus went about making everything ready, pouring in whatever the thing from the bottle was. Alec inhaled slowly as the scent of it started to fill the room. Magnus had been right, the thing Clary used was sweet and almost stung a little when you inhaled too sharply, whatever this was, was a lot better, smelling like Magnus. The scent was warm, earth like and it was soft and natural in a way that made Alec feel  _ right _ . Having closed his eyes, Alec opened them to the sight of Magnus smiling. “Do you want me to go?”

Shaking his head before he had really thought about it, Alec bit his lip as he shifted on the spot. He had thought that maybe he would have wanted the time to himself, but as soon as Magnus had asked he had realised that no, he didn’t want to be alone, he was alone enough. 

Magnus nodded his head in the direction of the bath and Alec slowly pushed up from his sitting position onto all fours, making his way over. The bath was indeed a bath and not a tub. Part of the bathroom floor had been raised and once you got closer to it you could see that a bath had been carved out so that there was a thick ledge around it, which was were Magnus usually sat when he kept Clary company.  

Reaching Magnus and the raised floor, Alec paused and looked up. Magnus was still smiling and nodded like he knew what Alec was wondering (which was if he could get up) and answered him silently. Steadying himself, Alec slowly raised himself up until he stood next to Magnus, again looking down at him. It felt weird, like the last time, to be standing next to him, but Magnus still just smiled and Alec felt a small shiver run down his spine from how intense Magnus’ eyes looked as they were locked on him. 

Looking away, Alec copied the way he had seen Clary get into the bath, letting out a small gasp as he lowered himself into the warm water. It was better than he had expected, the feeling of the scented water against his skin had him biting his lip to keep from letting out any embarrassing noises. 

The bath was also a lot bigger than Alec had thought it would be and even with how much taller than Clary (especially) he was, he could stretch out completely, leaving only his head above the water. The water felt clean, even with whatever wood-like scent Magnus had added, it didn’t feel oily or thick, just clean and light against his skin as he felt his legs and arms float slightly in it. 

Tipping his head back so that half of it was underwater, Alec looked up at the shover plated ceiling, the water circling his face and the round deep sounds created as he moved his hands against the bottom of the bath rolled into his ear though the water. Lying there, closing his eyes and relaxing, Alec almost forgot that he wasn’t alone or where he was even until he opened them again and lifted his head to see Magnus sitting like he had with Clary earlier. Magnus was smiling softly, sitting on the wide edge around the bath with his back against the wall. 

Sinking down into the water until only his eyes were above the surface, Alec looked at him as he held his breath. He felt small, but he also felt almost normal with being able to do something so mundane as taking a bath and he felt more free than he had done in months. The way Magnus looked at him almost made Alec blush, it was something about his cat-eyes and how intense they were that had him feel like Magnus could see through him. 

Magnus hadn’t said anything for a while, when he finally did speak up, it was a few minutes after Alec had to give up and come up for air, having sunk down only to cover his mouth so that he could breathe through his nose. “Want me to do the same as I do with Clary?” 

Alec just looked at him first. He knew what he meant, or at least what it could mean as he had seen him with Clary enough times to know what the options were. Blinking slowly and chewing on the inside of his lip, Alec tried to weigh out the pros and cons of letting Magnus do so, but found there were very few cons. Nodding his head, Alec watched as Magnus moved over until he was sitting on the edge right by his chest, smiling down at him. Swallowing back air, Alec lifted one of his arms up and out of the water, the air feeling cool against his skin even with how warm it was. Letting Magnus take his hand, Alec looked up at him through his eyelashes as the warlock started to slowly rub his thumbs in circles against the sore palm of his hand. 

Whatever had been added to the water helped Magnus’ fingers move against his skin smoothly and Alec closed his eyes and tried to relax, enjoying the treatment as well as just the touch alone. Magnus still didn’t say anything and it actually helped as Alec was able to almost completely forget where he was, feeling almost normal again. 

Magnus massaged his hand, forearm and almost up to his shoulder before he moved around to the other side and did the same. Alec didn’t even think or worry as he gave him his left hand and stayed relaxed until the warlock had done both his arms. He wasn’t sure if Magnus used any magic, but it felt like he had, either that or he had very talented hands as his arms felt a lot better after. 

When he was done, Magnus sat with his legs crossed in front of himself at the long end of the bath, not looking tired at all even if he had done this first with Clary and then with Alec. “If you want me to do your legs you’ll have to turn?” The sentence was worded like a question and Alec thought it over. Nodding after having debated it with himself, Alec moved over to be able to sit with his back against the opposite long end of the bath so that Magnus could reach where he needed. Just as he was about to lift his leg, Alec’s hand slipped against the slippery bottom of the bath and with nothing else to steady himself with, his backside slid across the bottom and Alec’s head dipped completely under the water. Gasping while under, Alec ended up swallowing a bit of the water before he managed to push himself up sitting. 

Coughing a little, Alec reached up and wiped some of the water from his face. Opening his eyes he saw Magnus sitting there, his lips pressed hard together and it was clear that he was trying not to laugh. Magnus’ expression mixed in with the mental image of how he must have looked made Alec laugh, truly laughing for the first time since he had been captured. 

His laughter must have been seen as an OK signal from Magnus who seemingly couldn’t hold back and laughed himself, his laugh soft and friendly as he tipped his head back, possibly so his makeup wouldn’t run. “I’m sorry” Magnus laughed as he wiped his hands under his eyes which ended in disturbing his makeup after all. “Are you ok?” 

Nodding, Alec was still chuckling, now also because Magnus looked like a mundane punk rocker with his makeup unavoidably having been smeared. “Yeah, just swallowed half a gallon of water” he replied, wiggling his nose as it itched. 

“I’m sorry” Magnus chuckled again as he shook his head “come on, let’s give it a second try” he added, smiling widely as Alec did his best to not make the same mistake again, lifting his leg up and out of the water for Magnus to reach. 

Everything was a little less tense after Alec’s ‘near drowning’ experience and he was able to fully relax again as Magnus rubbed his feet and calves. He couldn’t remember ever having gotten a massage in his entire life so even if it was just his arms and lower legs it was a new life experience to have gotten one. When Magnus was done, Alec almost felt a little sad because he had enjoyed it a lot more than he thought he would, though if he was honest with himself, he had mainly liked just being touched again. It was something so small, but to not experience so much as a handshake for weeks and months was strangely draining on his energy. 

Even though he missed the touch, when Magnus asked him if he wanted to have his hair washed, Alec shook his head. He didn’t know why, it just seemed a little different to him and for now what he had gotten was enough, so he also declined the offer of staying in longer. His skin was getting wrinkly and white already so instead he asked to get out. As the water drained from the bath, Magnus with a flick of his hand turned on the water that came down from a long plate hanging in the ceiling above, letting down water through hundreds of little holes like heavy rain. The water washed away the bathwater he had been soaking in for the last hour and once he felt clean he climbed out and was handed a heavy, fluffy towel that he wrapped around himself. 

“I’ll give you some privacy” Magnus smiled before leaving him to get dry and to change into a pair of clean underwear. Still standing while he did, Alec looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, not really having seen himself in a mirror since the incident in Magnus’ bedroom. He looked a little bit healthier now than he did back then, at least in his own eyes and based on common sense as he had been eating a little bit more than he had at that time and he had been more careful with his training. 

The dark rings under his eyes were still prominent and Alec hated that he still looked a little sick. Taking a deep breath he rolled his shoulders a few times before he lowered himself down onto the floor. As much as he had enjoyed playing pretend while having his bath, that things were different and more normal, being back in the real world again meant his place was on his hands and knees. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the slow update on this story, my only excuse is that it is hard to write.   
> Next chapter will be from Magnus' point of view.   
> Thank you for reading and commenting.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @ShadowOfMystic on twitter (AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowMystic) for beta reading this chapter for me.

Staying leant back in the chair he sat in, Magnus looked at the group of people seated around the oval shaped table. The meetings with the leaders were usually long and dreary, containing very little discussion of interest. Magnus was sick of the war, sick of the constant bickering between the older Warlocks, Seelies and Vampires, all egging each other on to see who hated the Shadowhunters the most (at least the free ones). 

Raphael was on the council with him and was one of the few who usually had his back. The Vampire wasn’t as old as most of the others so he still remembered and held onto his humanity, not finding mundanes to be all that bad, not even Shadowhunters. “I still think there is a debate to be held here. Since we last met I have thoroughly considered Magnus’ previous–” 

Raphael was cut off by a Warlock who looked to be no older than 18 but was closer to 200 if Magnus’ calculations were right. Letting out a sigh, Magnus straightened up as he listened to the young looking woman, who was unofficially acting as the leader of the group, argue the opposite side of the debate to what he himself and Raphael held. He had sat on this council for what felt like a hundred years and was getting tired of the same old arguments being spun. 

“We have strayed so far from what we are that we no longer resemble who we were a mere 200 years ago” Magnus shot in, cutting off the woman. “The argument that we were treated like animals is not a valid excuse for how we treat these mundanes and nephilims. The ones who live now are not the same ones who hunted us”. 

The woman, Claire as her name was, interrupted him like she had interrupted Raphael earlier. “The ones living now are not innocent, or do you find the murder of our kind to be a practice you support?”  

Suppressing the urge to roll his eyes at Claire, Magnus glanced over at Raphael who didn’t even try as he slumped back in his seat. “It’s not murder, we are at war. There used to be rules in war, unspoken words that we lived by on both sides. I am not suggesting we give up and surrender, I am suggesting we treat our prisoners in a humane way. No matter what they do on their end, we should rise above it and be the bigger men… and women”. 

Raphael nodded in agreement in his seat, he was young enough to remember what it was like to be a mundane in this world. 

“You have the option to treat your pets kindly” Claire replied saltily and the elder Seelie seated next to her nodded at her words like Raphael had to Magnus’ earlier. 

Tightening his hand into a fist, Magnus dug his short nails into the palm of his hand, needing to stop himself from slamming his fist into the oak table. “You say that, but with how the laws are now I am unable to treat the  _ prisoners _ humane without risking my own life” he snarled, emphasizing the word ‘prisoners’ to underline the difference of how it was to how it should be. 

“Lies” Marcel, an older Vampire on the council spat. “If we held them like prisoners of war they would be locked away in the dark, which those weak creatures seem to mind. Instead you can pamper them if you like”. 

Raphael huffed and rolled his eyes at that and Magnus once again thanked Lilith that he had a friend in the room. “I assure you, most of them would chose that over the life we give them as so called pets” Magnus spat the last word. 

Marcel slammed his hands against the table and half stood up from his chair, eyes locked on Magnus as he spoke, spit escaping his mouth along with his words. “How many have you held? Two? Three? Don’t pretend you are some kind of expert based on these numbers. We have dealt with your bullshit for years, Bane, but it is getting increasingly annoying how you seem to prefer these lesser creatures over your own kind” the Vampire almost shouted. 

Standing his ground, or rather sitting, Magnus didn’t flinch in his seat. He didn’t fear Marcel even if many others did, the Vampire couldn’t touch him and Magnus knew he could stake the grumpy old sod in a second without having to break a sweat if it came to that. “Don’t you dare accuse me of favouring them over us, I am simply saying that it is clear to see that what we are doing is torture, and the fact that these mundanes and nephilims are bordering on innocent if not completely makes it a cruel and unusual punishment all things–”    
  
“ENOUGH!” Claire snapped, her voice thundering so deeply Magnus was sure she had magically enhanced it for dramatic effect. “We will take your suggestions into account and consider a vote on the council next time we meet. Until then I hope everyone spends their time getting a fair understanding of the issues.” Her eyes darted around the room, daring someone to speak up against her. 

Magnus knew it was pointless to argue and just stood up. He would have to talk to Raphael about trying to talk to each member of the council between now and the next meeting, hoping to sway someone's opinion and bring them over to their side. 

“Meeting adjourned I guess” Raphael mumbled under his breath and Magnus looked over at him, staying in his place until the young Vampire joined him so they could walk out together. 

“I am sorry” Raphael said as they made their way out of the building. It was still a few hours until sunrise so Magnus decided to walk back as it would give him time to talk to Raphael. 

Straightening his waistcoat as he walked, Magnus just shook his head. Raphael had no reason to apologize, but being the polite young Vampire he was, of course he did even though it was more or less everyone else on that council who should. 

“How is the newcomer doing? Is he eating?” 

Magnus looked over at Raphael at the question and let out a sigh. “He is” he replied sadly. He never voiced his feelings about Alec and how hard it was to see the young man fade away into nothing. He had never had to deal with someone ‘new’ and looking back he knew he had done everything wrong with the man, he was now struggling to find a way around the problem he himself was the cause of. If they had found common ground and they could trust each other they could find ways for Alec’s life to be easier, but as it stood neither of them trusted the other. 

“I know that expression” Raphael said and Magnus snapped out of his thoughts and looked over at his friend. “I stand by my previous suggestion of introducing this newcomer to Simon and the man staying with him” Raphael continued. 

Simon had been a pet alongside Jace no more than a year ago, but he had been fed on by Camille to the point of death, having been saved and turned by Raphael. For her crimes of feeding on her pet until it died, Camille had been thrown off the council and her second in command, Raphael, had taken over. Turning a mundane was still a crime as well; but only Magnus, Raphael and of course Simon knew that he had been the one to do so and they had all vowed to not speak of it. As a Vampire, Simon had been given his freedom as he was now a Downworlder and in the case against Camille, he had only asked for Jace as ‘payment’ for her crimes. 

“Jace is a good influence on Clary, she seems more relaxed and I think he is encouraging her to act more like she should in ways that I can’t...” Magnus said, shaking his head at how the world worked, at how he was forced to keep playing this role he didn’t enjoy playing “... but I am scared it will confuse Alec.” Biting his teeth hard together as he felt the shame wash over him of how he had treated Alec when he first arrived at his house. 200 years of living in a society that treated mundanes and nephilims as animals had polluted his mind and he was now trying to undo the damage he had done.

Raphael shook his head “I think this Jace is your best chance to undo the damage you, we all, have already done to this man. If you do a 180 now and tell him to act how he wants, he will either think it’s a test or a new command and both of those would be counterproductive to what you are trying to do. Pair him with Simon’s man, if they become some kind of friends the little asshole might actually be exactly what he needs”. 

“Asshole? Really?” Magnus gave a small smile. The topic of Alec was always weighing heavy on his heart. Clary was different, she had been broken and he had been first trying to make her life as comfortable as possible; but it sadly wasn’t until Alec came along that he truly understood that no matter how comfortable you made their life as a pet, you needed a broken mind to live like that. 

Snickering uncharacteristically at Magnus, Raphael nodded slowing his pace as they were about to pass the building he lived in. “I admire the mental strength of the man and pity him for the position he is in, but that doesn’t mean I can’t state the fact; which is that he is a bit of a dickhead.” 

“Fair play” Magnus hummed with a smile. “Thank you for your support, my dear friend. I will get in touch sometime next week so we can come to an agreement on how to proceed with this mess. Thank you also for the recommendation, I will talk with Simon” 

“It was nothing. Until then” Raphael said and bowed his head as a sign of respect before turning to get inside the windowless building, a clear sign that only Vampires lived there.   
  


★★★★   
  


Walking through the portal he had opened outside Raphael’s building, Magnus stepped into the living room of his own flat and saw Alec on the sofa, sleeping soundlessly. His long legs were stretched out and one of his arms was hanging off the edge, his breathing slow and steady. Walking over, Magnus grabbed the blanket hanging over the back of the sofa and very gently covered Alec’s almost naked body. 

Looking at him, Magnus felt that familiar pang of guilt again and looked away, hating how he could do that; run away from his feelings in ways that the other man couldn’t. 

In his bedroom he saw Clary who was in his bed, at the foot of it like she usually was but she had pulled the covers up around herself like she had the last few months. It was a tiny step taking her in the right direction, but after having been born and raised in this world, any progress was good. Tired, Magnus snapped his fingers to change into a pair of pyjama bottoms and remove his makeup before he climbed into bed, hugging one of the pillows as he tried to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, another minor thing he had stolen from someone else. 

 

★★★★

 

Having portaled Clary to Simon’s earlier so she could spend time with Jace, Magnus was sitting on the sofa when he heard a noise from the ‘pet room’, letting him know Alec was awake and moving about. Getting up he made his way to the room and peeked in, seeing Alec stand up, shaking his legs one at the time. Not saying anything he walked in and felt a small sting as Alec at the second he saw him, dropped back on his knees.  _ I did that _ Magnus thought with dread as he gave the young man a warm smile. 

“Alexander, I was wondering if we could talk” Magnus spoke gently as he walked into the room and then sat down on the floor. The room had been made to make Clary’s life easier. It had been filled with things that would be familiar to her when he first saved her from the gruesome Warlock who had held her (and her mother as well, before she had been killed). He had slowly ‘upgraded’ the entertainment in the room, replacing silly propaganda pet books with more complicated work, sadly it would probably still seem ridiculously low level to Alec. When Alec nodded, Magnus gave a new smile. 

“After what happened with Sebastian, I know that I promised you that I would not invite anyone into the house” Magnus started, trying to keep his tone light and smooth as he spoke, especially as Alec’s face scrunched up in a hurt expression. What had happened to him and what had almost happened was terrible and Magnus felt he held a lot of the blame for it himself. “I still won’t, don’t worry. I was just wondering if maybe next time Clary visits Jace, you would want to come along? I will be there and Jace is nothing like Sebastian, he is a good man”. He made sure to use ‘man’ and not ‘pet’, trying his best to remember everything he and Raphael and sometimes Simon had talked about that may help. 

Alec looked like he was thinking. The tall man looked small where he sat and though the dark rings under his eyes were still very prominent, the fact that he had filled out a little bit was cause for careful optimism. When he first came into his life, Magnus had thought that the only way to go about anything was to make sure he could follow the laws so that he wouldn’t cause Magnus any problems and it wasn’t until later, (too late sadly) that he truly understood how selfish and straight up cruel that had been. “I think that it would be good for you to talk to someone and Jace is…” Magnus stopped himself saying ‘like you’. His point was that Jace was a man, he had been born free, he was a nephilim and he was strong; something Magnus considered Alec to also be even with how broken he was at the moment. 

Alec was nodding slowly after a while “Ok” he whispered, his voice weak but sounding beautiful nonetheless. Relieved with the answer, Magnus smiled and relaxed a little. Mirroring the way Alec was sitting in hopes that it would put them slightly at equal footing again, Magnus longed to say or do something that could make things better; filled again with self-loathing. “Do you want to come watch some TV with me?” Magnus heard himself ask. It wasn’t that he needed the company, he just wanted Alec to do something else other than just sit in the pet room, but he also didn’t want to order him to do anything; and he never would again. 

Feeling his heart sink in his chest as Alec shook his head. About to stand up, Magnus stopped as he heard Alec speak.   
  
“I was gonna read”.

Keeping the smile on his face, Magnus nodded. “Do you want the book I started reading for you? I never finished it”. The reason he offered the book was that even though it was a ‘teen book’, it was a lot more complicated than anything that was in the pet room. After Alec nodded again, Magnus made a gesture with his hand, conjuring up the book that he had started all those months ago and was about to hand it to Alec when he noticed that the man had lay down on his side, looking at him with those big hazel eyes of his. 

Holding onto the book, Magnus was wondering what the other meant with his actions. Did he want him to read it for him? It was hard to get what Alec wanted because he didn’t speak much and he didn’t seem to want to be asked too many questions either. Keeping his eyes locked with the younger man’s, Magnus slowly opened the book and looked down at the page before looking back at Alec. “Do you want me to read it?” He didn’t want to push it, didn’t want to seem like he was invading Alec’s personal space, but he had to ask to know. When Alec nodded slowly, Magnus couldn’t help but smile though and cleared his throat before starting to read, starting one page behind where he had left off to make sure Alec remembered what had happened last time.

 

★★★★

 

Sitting on the sofa at Simon’s, Magnus was slowly sipping the cup of tea the Vampire had served him. Of course Simon didn’t drink or eat anything else other than blood now, but he had gone through the trouble of manually making Magnus a cup of tea. Which meant obviously he wasn’t about to insult the hospitality he had been shown by conjuring up a drink of his own, even if the tea was a terrible bend of  Apricot Sunflower that tasted, mildly put, like shoving your face into a muddy field of flowers. 

Simon wasn’t eating, he still didn’t seem to be comfortable drinking in front of other people which was understandable on some level. “I am glad you decided to bring Alec over, Clary has been talking nonstop about him for months and Jace was so looking forward to meeting him”. 

Smiling, Magnus tried his best to not make a face as he sipped the horrible tea. “How are things going with Jace? Raphael said he is being a bit of an asshole” he smiled and winked. Magnus was aware of the relationship Simon had had with the blonde nephilim before he had been turned, which was probably the main reason Simon had asked for Jace when he was given the chance to demand something as payment from Camille. 

“He isn’t an asshole” Simon started but paused “or he is, but he is my asshole I guess”. 

“Yours?” Magnus asked, raising one eyebrow as Simon was usually so careful to use words that could be seen as words describing an ownership. 

Smiling and blushing slightly, Simon waved his hand dismissively as he cleared his throat “You know what I mean. Things are going well, I think he is dealing better with this new arrangement than I am” he laughed nervously. 

Magnus knew that Simon wanted to leave. He had never wanted to stay, even though being turned meant that he had been given his freedom, he was still a prisoner of the world he had been forced into. If he left the territories controlled by Downworlders he ran the risk of running into Shadowhunters who wouldn’t hesitate, killing him on sight. 

“He really likes Clary” Simon said as he looked at the door to the other room in the small flat. Simon, being newly turned, didn’t have the funds for somewhere grand so his flat was a bathroom, bedroom and then an open plan livingroom and kitchen. Jace was in the bedroom at the moment, accompanied by Clary and for the first time, Alec. The way Simon looked at the closed door, Magnus wondered if he longed to be in there with them; not as a pet, but because of Jace and maybe Clary. 

Smiling sadly at the young Vampire, Magnus let out a sigh “Do you want me to stop bringing Clary over?” It was easy to see what was happening, whatever Jace and Simon had was turning into something different and Clary may be the reason. 

“No” Simon looked back at him, shaking his head “Don’t be silly. They really like each other, I want them to be happy and I like Clary too, she is really sweet”. 

Magnus nodded slowly. Simon was breaking all the rules with Jace. As far as he understood, without having actually seen it or heard Simon explicitly explain it; Jace lived normally as long as it was just the two of them around. That alone was enough to warrant Simon a death sentence if the authorities found out. They also had a physical relationship that had started back when they were both prisoners, but that had also continued after the change; and the way Simon looked at him it was clear it was more than just something physical to him, but maybe it wasn’t to Jace. 

“I’m working on something” Simon broke the silence and smiled, his fangs hidden. “I don’t want to tell you too much in case it won’t work out, but it could be big” he said, the smile on his face now clearly forced. 

“I can’t wait to hear” Magnus smiled and looked at the closed door separating him and Simon from the other three, on some level, wishing not that they were in there with the nephilims, but that the nephilims were out here with them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the slow update on this story, still my only excuse is that it is hard to write.   
> I hope you enjoyed Magnus' POV chapter as it will return to 'normal' next chapter.   
> Thank you for reading and commenting.


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